Holiday Tension TV Specials!

I’m pleased to announce that we are accepting pitches for holiday themed TV specials!
Here are a few so far:

1) Simon’s Shiny New Year
Simon leads the entire OOA cast in a search for Father Time, knowing they are running out of it. They each record their goodbyes into a video camera, before Simon leads them all in a rousing rendition of “Auld Lang Cunt”.

2) The Yule Tub
Christmas carols play for 24 consecutive hours over a shot of a naked Mike, sitting in a tub of blood with a dead girl.

3) A Handler’s Christmas Special
The Handlers all gather ’round for Christmas, decorate the tree and give each other a gift. Amazingly, they have each gotten each other the same present: a vial of bubonic plague. They sing “Ring Around the Rosie”, fall down, and never get up again.

4) A Handler’s Hanukkah Special
The Handler’s gather ’round for Hanukkah to light the menorah. Lacking the eight candles, they instead light each other on fire, and each burns for eight days straight.

5) A Gift for Sabrina
Trapped in the OOA, Sabrina searches for a way to enjoy Christmas without the customary mountain vistas, watches, and chocolates she is used to. Michelle gives her a box for Christmas. “What’s in the booooooxxx”, Sabrina cries. She opens it and finds…the cat bear. Uncontrollable sobs ensue.

6) An OSDM Christmas Carol
Michelle is haunted by the ghost of Samson, who warns her that she will be visited by 30 spirits, all curiously resembling deceased members of the OOA. They take her on a journey through past, present, and future. She promises to keep the Christmas spirit, then reneges by stealing Sabrina’s cat bear and running it over with a black passenger van. Uncontrollable sobs ensue.