okay, i got one

[DeeZParticipant]

Heres whats up! I’m still laughing. i might ramble because its been a hot minute… it starts with fucking Joe.. – joe, fuck you.. Seriously, if you reading this wipe that smirk off your face ;). Joe – asshole – tells me found some live art thing or something and its cool because they are a cult. I was like, how the is that cool, cults are scary as shit but then he sais he thinks they are acting like a cult… whatever. boring and weird. So he tells me all this during brunch because he is supposed to go to the libary for a test, i was like okaaaay… cool – im gonna day drink mimosas and not be a bitch but have fun at the library but he’s like nah, i can’t go you have to go for me. HA!. i was like fuck you but he started saying about how i was always don’t do his thing– nevermind, he talks me into it right? So i go to the library and some odl ass dude is eating salami like its his birthday and thats his cake and when i say im there for joe he gets all goofy and starts saying thats unacceptable but starts asking me stuff anyways like if i believe earth is where i live and if there is a purpose to life. I play along just so i dont have to here joe bitch about it but then this fool asks me if i have any fetishes and i legit popped off. The old guy just lauhged which made me even more heated but then he backed off and started asking what i do. On the real, i am at a certain radio station and no you cant have my job or any other JOB – and he starts getting excited and asks me to wait a minute if i would. I was like im not trying to hang out the library is this test over or what but he seems geniuinly worried i am going to leave and he looked like my grandpa’s friend so i was like okay do your thing but be quick. Im on my phone for a sec and look up and three other old asses come over all smiles and hand me some rachet ass corner burner phone i start laughing and am like whats this, they say its a gift and they will be contacting me soon. Whatever. At least JOE has a present right>? Day or two later havent seen joe but the phone is in my glove compartment to give to him hwen i do and it starts rinigng. I call joe and he’s actually mad i didn’t pick up. Says he cant meet me today and to answer if they call back- he needs to know whats up and its killing him. Now you see why i say fuck joe!! love you boo! Anyways it rings again and i pick up. Guess what? Yup, old on the phone, she sounds like she is trying to disguise her voice too,lke its muffled… wtf? She tells me to hit up this smoothie spot by the station, bomb ass drinks so fine, whatever, call joe.. Say bitch if i die you will most certainly be haunted. Asshole joe is all record it if you can, i AM sitll kicking myself for blowing this fool off… anyway i get ot smoothie spot and before i get out the car shit gets not right real quick. Phone rings same old – she tells me they have bought me a drink… i go to my boy Raj and he’s got this smile on his face like he knows something and im all what but he just says your im suppsoed to sit at this certain table. I do and nothing happens, smoothie is good but cool, lets call it a day. Free smoothie, weird phone, joe has a story, im out. As soon as i get up some chick hwo looks like my grammies grandma’s grandma is being pushed in a wheelchair and is eyeing the ever loving shit out me. I wont lie, i felt a litle spooked the way she looked at me like she .. whatever. Anyways dude wheels her over to my table and she just stares at me. For a lonnng time. Im like what? So this old bitch david motherfuckin blaines my ass right there! She flips the place matt on the table and its this long letter written with stuff about my life… my dad, my moms my OLD jobs and then at the end its like we think its time for you to join the assension or something and it says praise be at the end. You ready for this one? I say, out loud, praise be? And every. Motherfucker. In that place says it BACK to me. At the same time. Like half of the entire place, all the customers are all now looking directly at me from all over the room. just staring. Its dead quite. I have never, ever, ever, ever EVER been so uncomfortable in my life. I know it sounds crazy but it was.. I still feel dumb being haha being this freaked out still but it was bananas after that personal life story magic trick right? I calm down for a second and am about to start asking what is really going on when they all of the sudden they all stand up and just leave. Wheel the woman away like nothing happened. Like they didn’t just all just repeat my words back to me in unison and stare at em for five minutes. FUCK YOU JOE!!! Haaha. I run up to Raj and he’s like, GIRL WHAT ARE You INTO? Me? What the fuck was that? He says everyone shows up at once about 40 mins before i got there, buys a bunch of drinks and just spread out… he says her remembers thinking it was weird too because they are always dead during this time. Always. Anyways, thats all of it, still have the phoen. Joe wants it but fuck him, this is mine now. Still trying to decide if ill answer again or not.

[Susie JParticipant]

Sounds like Joe missed the train there. I say see where this takes you.

[Jake OParticipant]

the most surprising thing about this story to me is that you did nothing to earn the adventure you are having. it’s interesting that someone who put in no effort to solve anything and didn’t even want to partake in the meetings was somehow chosen to have this very exciting journey. scratching head

[Susie JParticipant]

@deez, thinking on it, you never mentioned how or why you gained access to this forum. Did they instruct you to come here and testify?

[Mary PavlovskyParticipant]

Very curious.

[Author]

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