June 2, 2016 at 9:12 pm #9030
Do you know what darkness is?
I don’t mean the swaying of soft shadows on a path, or the eery depth of a cold night sky, but true darkness; When something is so devoid of light that it can pass unseen in front of you.
Could you recognize true darkness if it was near you now?
Today, a girl, distraught and on her knees, was forced to do things against her will, while crying, and while we watched.
We took pictures, we discussed what was happening, we asked each other who the pictures were – but who amongst you actually cared about that girl?
Who became angry? Who became sad? Who had an emotion beyond base-level morbid curiosity? Who had an emotion beyond shallow excitement?
This is how darkness wins. This is always how darkness wins.
I’ve been informed, by an exiled friend, with a message direct from her governing body, that this ritual may have changed Addison, and that she may not ever be the same.
She may be struggling to stay in control, to hold on to whatever is left of who she was.
The alternative, I am told, is no better.
So why are we so accepting of this? Acceptance to a point of such broad, quiet consent, that we’ve already been distracted by shinier things.
Like so many commuters slowing down to pass a car wreck, hoping to see the mangled remains of what was once a human like us; Why do we stare?
I thought we were supposed to be better than this.
We deserve answers, and verifiable truth.
We deserve full illumination of the fog and mystery.
She deserves more support than we’re giving her.
Without a more forthcoming explanation, some of us will become that same consuming darkness.
We will turn away from light and feeble explanation, and instead look inwards, to feed the demons that fuel our rage.
God help you. All of you.
This is how darkness wins. This is always how darkness wins.
June 2, 2016 at 9:25 pm #9031
Tell it brother, I want to know the truth of what happened to Addison. I want whatever happened to her today not to happen to any of us. Who ever agrees should come forward and demand the truth.
June 2, 2016 at 9:46 pm #9032
June 2, 2016 at 9:57 pm #9034
There is always a reason.
One leads to another.
June 2, 2016 at 10:12 pm #9035
Thank you for posting this, and giving us something more challenging to chew on than another vague puzzle. Every day it becomes increasingly difficult to see the reasoning behind the actions of the OOA. Between Sunday’s community building ceremony consisting of coffee, donuts, and public humiliation followed by violence, and today’s apparent promotion of self harm in the name of something the organization itself is afraid to talk about, it’s been a doozy.
I’ve been thinking hard about everything that’s been happening this week, and I think it’s time we got some answers to these growing questions.
June 2, 2016 at 10:31 pm #9038
It fascinates me that so many users are active but silent in this moment. Is it fear restraining you all?
June 2, 2016 at 11:00 pm #9044
I don’t have all the information. And perhaps at this time, this is the best we can do for this girl.
June 2, 2016 at 11:50 pm #9050
Did we watch the same video? I did not see anyone being “forced” to do anything.
I saw a girl make choices, her own choices. No one held a gun to her head, no one threatened her, none of that. We didn’t see what led to this or what happened after. We’re missing the beginning and the end and jumping to conclusions.
June 2, 2016 at 11:53 pm #9053
I have had personal interactions that confirmed and qualified that none of this is her choice. I don’t expect anyone here to necessarily believe or understand that, but I can say, 100%, the Addison we knew did not want any part of this.
That’s why she called out to Russell and myself. There may be others that know the truth.
June 3, 2016 at 12:08 am #9055
Well then maybe you should make this post about helping her and not trying to give the forum a guilt trip
June 3, 2016 at 12:17 am #9056
It is too late to help her, that time has passed.
Now is the time for reflection.
Your guilt, is your responsibility.
June 3, 2016 at 3:37 am #9058
My heart is warmed by your words error. You see what I have been saying all along.
“The greatest evil is not done in those sordid dens of evil that Dickens loved to paint … but is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried and minuted) in clear, carpeted, warmed, well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voices.
“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything
There is still good in the OOA and also in our community not to mention, the world. SAVE IT!
There is MANY things that make wise men weak,but fear is one of the most powerful.
Thank you again error. 😆
June 3, 2016 at 7:28 am #9060
As a long-time denizen of the dark but always striving to turn my face towards the light let me take a moment to play Devil’s Advocate. Perhaps her tears were for the past. We don’t know the nature of her relationship with her parents/family. But when there is a separation, forced or otherwise, we cry. Change is terrifying sometimes whether we choose it or we are prodded into it by a guy off camera pointing a gun at us. But I would posit this: she was not restrained, she was not physically fighting. Again, we are only examining glimpses of what is occurring. Each of us is our own filter and the great lesson being pounded into us is that we each make our own choices. That is all we concretely have for now.
June 3, 2016 at 7:36 am #9061
I agree with Mike and Susie. She made her own decisions and through a strong emotional distress comes change. All heroes in stories go through a tragedy before seeing who they truly are. Be it a lose of a love one or a physical/mental change – a tough transition has to occur. She was crying because she had many many years of the these people that were bringing her back into the dark and all she knows will now change. It is all about the choices we make as an individual. Will it bring us out the dark and into the light – it is all we can hope for. I’d rather change and be brought into the light than stay the same to be kept in the dark for all eternity. Glory Be!
June 3, 2016 at 7:51 am #9066
June 3, 2016 at 7:50 am #9065
I’ve spoken to Addison several times over the last week – and was even warned she was in great danger. She asked me to do certain things that would help her and I complied.
And while I’m still very concerned about her, the last things she said in the periscope video were in a tone that was the most assured and strong I’ve ever heard from her.
I have no doubt that all will be revealed in the future. For now, I’m happy Addison is alive and okay – physically, at least.
June 3, 2016 at 10:07 am #9070
Finally catching up on the forum. Wow… so much has happened.
Are we seeing a divide amongst the community over Addison?
For now, I’m also in agreement with @mike and @monkeymuffin333. Without being privy to the whole picture, we honestly cannot draw true conclusions. We can assume. We interpret but we really don’t know the whole story. We were given a glimpse of a moment. I know I have not received or seen concrete evidence that tells me Addison was doing something against her will yesterday. Am I concerned for her after what I saw on Sunday, my interaction with the photographer, and the stories of what her father has claimed happened to her? Of course. But, also playing devil’s advocate, do we even know her father is being truthful? Parents can be blinded by their love for their children and not accept or hold them responsible for their actions. Could Addison have been only been nervous about what was supposed to happen on Sunday rather than it being about having to do something she didn’t want to do? I know @monkeymuffin333 and I discussed how our anxiety level rose when the elder spoke of an initiate being disrobed in front of everyone. At the time we didn’t know it was going to be Addison and had that brief “Oh God, could it be me!?!… Don’t let it be me!” What was going to happen, even by choice, would cause someone to look uneasy. The glimpse we were given last night, I don’t see any evidence that says she was against her will. On her kneees, crying, the crossing out of faces… it could mean anything. It could be a cleansing of her old self and the birth of her new self. We don’t know if she has been brainwashed or if she’s a phoenix rising out of the ashes after yesterday’s events.
I haven’t had any interaction with Addison except the small interaction on Sunday nor have I had any with any family members. I haven’t had any interaction with any of the OOA outside of Sunday. I’m only going on what others are sharing. I’m not trying to discount that she may be held against her will or forced to do things she doesn’t want to do. I’m asking questions. Her father could be in denial that this is her choice and her _path.
I ask this… @111error You wrote, “she deserves more support than we’re giving her.” What kind of support are you asking of us?
This is not said to add fuel to the flames. I hope that I am wrong. But, I’m sensing a division occurring among the community. It’s small but it’s happening. Maybe it’s the way I’m interpreting some of the things that are being said here. I sense this underlying tone from some that people aren’t doing enough… why aren’t you doing more… almost like finger pointing. Division will be all of our downfall.
June 3, 2016 at 10:13 am #9071
@111error Thank you for voicing your concerns. As the other person she named, I share in some of the emotions you express. Addison reached out to me, as it seems she has reached out others. She was distraught and even though I assured I would do what I could to help… she was unable to offer any guidance and I was in no way able to learn where or how I could possibly make a stand for her. In the end, I was warned that my actions were to stop. By who… I do not know. Am I sad? Yes. Do I feel “guilty” in some way? Not particularly.
I wish I could talk to her. After the Sunday mixer, I wish I could have spoken to Tom somehow and tell him how I felt about the spectacle he created at the meeting. I feel his actions were of VERY poor judgment and may have pushed all of this onto Addison sooner than it was supposed to happen. These events may be partially his doing.
@kasch I, too, am happy to see her alive and I, too, noticed the change in tone from the voice that spoke to me on the phone. That strength can only be of benefit to her.
I disagree that the time has passed to help her. We shall remain, as a community, watchful. At this moment, that is how we begin. Who can identify the woman in the photographs? Can anyone identify the location of the video? There are questions before us… and I admit I am one of those with no answers. At all.
@daela I am not sure the silence is rooted in fear, I believe it may be rooted in simple confusion. I think many of us are not sure what the next step is for us… okay, I’ll say it… along our _path.
June 3, 2016 at 10:51 am #9075
Russell, you and I spent hours anxiously trying to help. Had we not been in that position, we would still likely not be condoning or excusing what we’ve seen. We have very little to feel guilty for and the message was not for you.
Because of how I was made, however, I will never forgive myself for failing to be who she needed. I will also never forget the faces of those who took her.
One day, they will find it hard to forget my face, too.
For now, I just want the tears to stop.
June 3, 2016 at 11:35 am #9079
June 3, 2016 at 11:55 am #9083
@reaton I know you were told to not contact Addison again, but we have been told time and time again our choices are our own to make and every single decision affects our path. I think if you really want to reach out to Addison you absolutely should. Obviously that would be your decision to make but we have to remember we have the ultimate say in our journey. We are the experience.
June 3, 2016 at 10:18 am #9072
Again, Addison was deliberately and continuously reaching out to people you all know here, begging to find someone she could trust, crying and very directly asking for help. She was in physical and mental pain, she knew the helmet was hurting and changing her.
Use all the mental gymnastics you need to pretend that sounds like a girl following her dream.
@halfbloodfangirl – I don’t know if there is anything we can do now, but if another person starts asking people here for help, while breaking down in fear, I hope they’re not similarly discarded with a tone of “Ehhhh they sound happy! =D”
June 3, 2016 at 10:28 am #9073
As a victim of many kinds of abuse, I definitely feel where you are coming from, and as a person who has been abandoned in the hellush wastelands of anguish, indeed, thrust there by those that were supposed to nurture and cherish me, I have this to say: it made me who I am today. Broken, lovable and infinitely aware of the pain of others. I won’t deny you your torment at the audience like role so many of us are taking. I admire your outrage and support your drive. But what if this is what Gatekeeper 4 had to go through too? Would you deny her the experience that made her into the fiery goddess we all know and love? Would you have denied me all the tears and heartbreak that led me here to this place amongst all of you, hungry for the joy my Brothers and Sisters provide? We are, as yet, not time travelers nor are we omniscient. As such we react, learn and absorb from what we see. I adore you @111error, truly. But we are at an arm’s length from her and must add each morsel revealed to what we know.
June 3, 2016 at 10:58 am #9077
You’re a good soul, Susie. I would go to the same lengths for you, or any of my friends I’ve met here.
Yes, if Gatekeeper4 had been reaching out to us and screaming for help not to let them turn her, I absolutely would have fought as hard to help her, as should all of us.
June 3, 2016 at 10:36 am #9074
I can see why people are on both sides of this, without all the info no one can really know what is going on. I don’t think it was wrong for anyone to be concerned we’ve been told many things since Sunday. Starting with Sunday that she would be stripped and judged for her sins. Sins that we don’t even have knowledge of. How are we in any place to judge someone with no information available. Next making it a family affair. If she chose that, is her family now choosing it as well? And then, assuming Addison was the she that was being talked about, we have her being a dangerous liar because she thought she was telling the truth and that she would seal her own fate. So off of the information we’ve been given (minus others personal testimonies on speaking with her) so far, it wasn’t sounding like a positive experience would be forthcoming for her. On the other hand, something could have absolutely changed yesterday for her that would make her see things differently, hence the resolve in her voice when speaking to Morgan and Russell. I have no way to know who is telling the truth, whether it be the OOA or BoS. For that reason I continue on my path with an open heart and mind and hopefulness that answers to our questions will present themselves with clarity and we will know for certain where our path is destined to lead.
June 3, 2016 at 11:53 am #9081
If anyone else wants to take action instead of just hoping she’s ok, please share this poster – in person, on social media, wherever. It doesn’t matter if you want to believe she’s safe and everything that happened yesterday is in her best interest, we need confirmation of her safety one way or another. I’m taking a field trip a little later today to put a few copies in a certain possibly meaningful neighborhood.
Full sized, print ready image at: http://i.imgur.com/Z2rvT3K.jpg
- This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Addison Born.
June 3, 2016 at 12:32 pm #9086
I love the fire. I really do. I think you should be careful about calling the OOA a cult though.
This is something they have explicitly said not to do.
What if this was a test.. to see who has a heart that’s pure?
I’d be careful. Do not hold your truth or the way you feel but take caution in the defamation of the OOA.
Trust me, If this turns out to be some sick cult, I will be the very first to detract.
Not before understanding the nature of the beast though.
June 3, 2016 at 1:38 pm #9103
This poster is incredible. That silence you hear in response, was to be expected.
June 3, 2016 at 1:43 pm #9104
You assume way too much.
Maybe the silence is because people left to go print it out?
Maybe the silence is because people are actively trying to do something?
Maybe the silence is because people are thinking clearly and realizing she’s not missing or kidnapped?
All you’ve been doing is criticizing us, yet, you’re still home at the computer posting about how no one is doing anything. What are YOU doing?
June 3, 2016 at 1:49 pm #9105
Really Mike? All you seem to be doing is mocking my concerns, and we both know none of your three suggestions are likely to be true.
What was I doing? Everything I was asked, and then some, to save someone this group professed to care about.
It must be lonely up there on your pedestal, looking down at my pathetic form that tried and failed to do anything. So much for not wanting to stand above me on stage, huh?
June 3, 2016 at 1:58 pm #9106
Not at all, concerns are one thing, but assumptions are another. I’m not mocking your concerns at all. If you’re concerned based on what you see/hear, that’s you, but all you’re doing is telling us what horrible people we are because we don’t share your same beliefs. Actually I know one of my suggestions is very true, because I can think clearly and no evidence has shown me she has been kidnapped or taken against her will. She said it herself….she’s ready.
So you were asked to be condescending to us? You were asked to share a sarcastic post of “was to be expected”. I can only imaging the amount of smugness that you had while typing that out. I don’t see anyone else in the group that expressed that they cared coming off like this. Try honey, not vinegar.
It’s funny that you mention me being on a pedestal when you were the one trying to preach to us. Read your original post and then tell me how I’m on a pedestal.
June 3, 2016 at 2:04 pm #9109
Maybe you’re right. Maybe being outspoken about the things the collective group didn’t do was unfair, harsh, hurtful even. Maybe suggesting there seems to be mass delusional support of the OOA was a stupid thing to do.
Look at what’s happening to us. Look at what this is doing to us, and I mean that both to the group, and intimately to you personally.
I am not trying to anger or upset you, or anyone else. Your words hurt me far more than I feel mine did you.
I stand by my original statement. We, collectively, failed that girl, and are collectively responsible for what happened – confirmed via Tension’s own Facebook – and I hoped we could begin a conversation on why we did this, not snipe at each other about whether the words were too strong, or offensive.
What has happened to us?
June 3, 2016 at 2:06 pm #9110
We agree to disagree then. You think with your heart, I think with my mind. It’s ok. We can still be friends…I guesssss
But I will say…….I have failed no one.
June 3, 2016 at 1:59 pm #9107
Pontificating what can be done does nothing to help anyone. Only by the gathering of knowledge can we hope to free or save anyone.
June 3, 2016 at 2:00 pm #9108
Gentlemen! Let us calm our savage breasts. Many assumptions are being made as to the nature of Addison’s participation, as to our convictions as Brothers and Sisters to her and each other…. And what all of us are doing on the forums during your basic work day hours. Let’s not let hot heads rend asunder what we have here, a place to gather and discuss. A place to exchange ideas, freely. We all want what’s best for Addison and we are all unsettled by what we have witnessed. Can we not agree to disagree about what should have been done and focus on what we can constructively do going forward?
June 3, 2016 at 12:02 pm #9084
I disagree with most in the fact that those final words from her, they did not sound like the Addison we have been knowing. It sounded forced. I absolutely believe the helmet did something, and am genuinely scared for the rest of us who had the helmet on… Like myself. Stay strong everybody, this is not happening again.
June 3, 2016 at 12:18 pm #9085
Where was the CONSENT? This is my Question. Can you all not see the wrong in someone being held against their will? Can you not see the wrong in someone begging for help and obviously being powerless to help themselves.
I am not against personal growth.. and I am most definitely not against change.
I am however against people being forced to do ANYTHING against their WILL, against their CONSENT. Can you all really be so dismissive of these TRUTHS that she so openly expressed to many of you!? Is this your legacy? Is this truly the limit of your empathy?
I am saddened by most of you, save a few.
Are you all afraid if you stand up for what is right that you may miss out on eternal life?, Immortality? Power?
I suggest you all think long and hard about why you are so quick to dismiss these things, that I have no doubt, you would wish someone to stand up for if it were you in her shoes.
I have suffered pain as well. much pain. this however fuels my desire to stop those kind of injustices. no to stand idiliy by and watch as a fellow human begs for help and suffers.
June 3, 2016 at 12:46 pm #9091
I Fully undErstand whEre you’re coming from, but Like i said Last nIght, we don’t Know if anyonE is being held againsT tHEiR will. wE do not heAR hEr StatE that. NoT one of us heard “I NEed heLp” So I doN’T ReAlly get that way of thINkING. i’m nOt afraid to staNd up for wHat is rigHt, but thERE are pieces I am uNsure Of and Wonder where this is going.
June 3, 2016 at 12:56 pm #9093
Just because they don’t want to be called a cult, has no weight or merit.
If it walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck..
June 3, 2016 at 1:20 pm #9100
Then it must be a lemming!
June 3, 2016 at 12:35 pm #9087
@111error I promise you, and you know me, I’m not discounting her or the possibility that she could be in trouble. I truly am only asking questions, trying to find answers in order to make an informed decision and not a hasty one. I’m not saying that everything is all unicorns and rainbows.
I agree with @reaton, I don’t believe it’s too late to help her.
As of now, I feel I am on the outside of all of this. All the private conversations, the secrets, the “I don’t know what I should share…” I’ve said it before, I’ve had no individual interaction with Addison at all except for an email containing Sunday’s waiver and when she handed me a rose on Sunday. I have nothing to go on except what others have told me and what I’ve observed on Sunday and on Periscope.
This is all tearing at me and leaving me with more questions.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Michelle. Reason: Added periscope as an observation
June 3, 2016 at 12:39 pm #9090
I Fully undErstand whEre you’re coming from, but Like I said Last nIght, we don’t Know if anyonE is being held againsT tHEiR will. wE do not heAR hEr StatE that. NoT one of us heard “I NEed heLp” So I doN’T ReAlly get that way of thINkING. i’m nOt afraid to staNd up for wHat is rigHt, but thERE are pieces I am uNsure Of and Wonder where this is going.
June 3, 2016 at 12:58 pm #9095
I agree. iF someone actuallY says that this is their chOice, yoU sorT of have to assUme that they aRe at least partially, iN some way, a wIlling participant. We can’t assume the worst based off of some cryIng, for aLL we know tHey coUld have beeN Tears of joY. we dOn’t have the fUll picture here, i DO believe We caN’t jump to conclusions based off of this alone
June 3, 2016 at 1:11 pm #9096
June 3, 2016 at 1:13 pm #9097
June 3, 2016 at 1:23 pm #9102
June 3, 2016 at 12:52 pm #9092
June 3, 2016 at 12:56 pm #9094
The curse of the Libra is that we’re always putting ourselves into everyone else’s shoes. We’ve all survived trauma and I’m not saying that we should leave her alone to sink or swim if she’s in trouble. I’m saying agonizing over the would have/should haves is not constructive. Some of us have made the decision to act should opportunity should present itself. Some feel it better to wait on more pieces of the puzzle to reveal themselves. I do know we all want Addison safe. On this we are all of an accord. I am no stranger to disappointing people I care about but I also am used to living with my decisions and owning my actions. I have learned to tread cautiously and listen to the signs. I’m no white knight. But I’m not a bystander either.
June 3, 2016 at 7:42 pm #9233
She is Schroedinger’s victim now; she is both guilty and innocent, and if we open the box with rash action, we either condemn her or liberate her. Until we are aware of all the consequences, we cannot make an informed decision as to which…
June 3, 2016 at 7:48 pm #9234
Cuz I’m a feline! In a steel box I ride. Till you open the box….. I’m DEAD AND ALIVE!!!!
June 5, 2016 at 7:49 am #9492
My personal belief with Addison is that her change was necessary. We could have warned her. We could have saved her. But we didn’t. Hindsight is 20/20 and honestly who knows if she wanted the change or not. Transformations are painful. We’ve all seen some sort of version of Wolfman and the whole thing is about transforming and embracing a different side of yourself which can be painful. Emotionally or physically pain is necessary with change. Until we see Addison again we may not know if it was positive or not. It seems like it was and I support her decision and believe The OOA are out to better her as well as ourselves.
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