Off the wall theories…

[AmieParticipant]

I’d like to give us a place to throw all of our theories that we *know* aren’t actually going to happen, but should still see the light of day anyway. I’ll start with one I was joking about concerning the box…

What if the box actually contains a Care Bear that will then rally all the other Care Bear’s for a *CARE BEAR STARE* and then everyone will see each others points, find a common ground and get along. Then we’ll all skip along off into the sunset towards Ascension holding hands.

What’s yours?

• This topic was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by  Amie.
• This topic was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by  Amie.

[MelissaModerator]

I’ll bite.

Think of Tinker Bell for a moment. When she was nearly dead all the audience had to do was clap loudly to revive her. Well, I thought maybe the same thing could happen with Gatekeepers, they die as we talk less and less about them OR they grow stronger/more active/revive the more we talk about them.

[AmieParticipant]

Lol! Did you cray-cray tag this?

[MelissaModerator]

Sure did. On that note next theory that isn’t as nuts as ours:

As soon as people like us spout out theories like this Tension comes in with something plot related to shut us up haha

[AmieParticipant]

@mkarrett this is true, but they can’t keep our crazy theories down! 😉

[NateParticipant]

Last week, I had the chance to hear a missionary from Haiti speak. He runs an orphanage of around sixty boys. In the 2010 earthquake, all of his boys survived, except one. A cement block fell from the ceiling and hit this one boy square in the head. As they were looking through the wreckage, the owner, also a preacher, grabbed the boy’s body and prayed to God to bring his soul back. The boy woke up, was rushed to the hospital, and has since fully recovered. Maybe that’s ~four’s destiny!

[AH-layParticipant]

Bring Four back from the dead? Now *that* would be interesting.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by  AH-lay.

[MelissaModerator]

I mean, this theory can be tested.

Start clapping?

• This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by  Melissa.

[AH-layParticipant]

👏👏👏👏

[NateParticipant]

Clap your hands if you believe in four-ies!

[NateParticipant]

How would she honestly react though? I feel like her style wouldn’t just be “I’m back, baby!” All overtly, yknow?
I feel like she’d walk into a meetup covered in dirt and mud and then just wipe her brow and flick it to the ground.

[Kimberly @ElectricHippoParticipant]

@nate31464: I wouldn’t put it past FOUR to come back from the dead just to attempt insulting me with more uggs and pumpkin spice latte jokes. She’s ornery like that.

[NateParticipant]

Lol she’s assuredly looking up and laughing at what a white girl you are.

[Kimberly @ElectricHippoParticipant]

@nate31464: FOUR was only half right in her assumption. I’ve never owned uggs but I do enjoy the occasional pumpkin spice latte. Nevertheless, it was an amusing burn. I laughed sincerely. Point goes to FOUR. (RIP FOUR and good luck with your magical resurrection.)

[AmieParticipant]

Will Pumpkin Spice Lattes be available when Ascension rolls around because I’ll get one with you in her memory @electrichippo. That burn was so good it deserves it!

[AH-layParticipant]

Nothing wrong with Pumpkin Spiced Lattes!

[BlondieParticipant]

[DimStyleParticipant]

Woah!

[AmieParticipant]

@blondiecamps I wonder if that Care Bear can still muster up the love required to repair these ties. I think we might need a fresher Care Bear.

[BlondieParticipant]

This one is pretty “fresh” 😉

[AmieParticipant]

Maybe this Care Bear’s power would bring Four back! haha

[NateParticipant]

NOOOOOOOO

Bears Don’t Seem Masochistic

Y’all need some BibleBear or something.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by  Nate.

[MikeParticipant]

With all the bum out theories going on, I thought I’d revive this thread and put some crazy, funny theories about what will happen tonight.

Theory one: While we’re all at the location, something “bad” happens to Addison and she dies. The One is there and the rest of us are having a party and dancing. The One walks away to a corner and then sees the Gatekeeper ghosts of Four, III, and 2 (Think the ending of Return of the Jedi). None of us see them, but they are there watching us

Theory two: III crashes the party. 2 and The One try to fight him but it’s no use. At one point, he backs up and rips his shirt open to reveal all the tortured souls that he killed within his chest (Like in A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3)

Theory three: Addison is really Liam Neeson’s daughter who went missing. Her father has a particular set of skills, he has found us, and he will kill us.

Ok, your turn. Let’s make today fun and weird!

[ZannahParticipant]

@mike. As long as there is no one falling to their knees and screaming “noooo nooooooooooo” I like your theory 1 idea!

Okay hear me out: Addison has it out with whomever and she dies. Everyone is upset, but knows she sacrificed herself to bring about what new information she has revealed. As everyone leaves, Benny/Mark pops up from the floor boards. Addison &Benny/Mark has faked their own deaths so they can be together without having to fear the OOA. And they skip off into the sunset.

[MikeParticipant]

@darthzannah – of Benny tells Addison that HE is her father!!

[MikeParticipant]

Addison is gone (ran away, died, etc). We all get bummed out and talk to The One and tell him there’s no one left. Then he tells us that “There is another”

[RustyParticipant]

You never did accept the truth that Tom really is the father, did you @mike? Maybe we end up in the audience of a Jerry Springer taping and a DNA test proves the he IS the father!!!!!

[RustyParticipant]

I like the ANOES Part 3 reference. Well played, @mike.

The One reveals himself as the new CEO of Periscope and this has all been an elaborate advertising ploy.

[ZannahParticipant]

@mike The other…. Addison’s twin brother who turns out it was @reaton all along! Separated at birth so the prophecy could be fulfilled later.

Trying to escape those who harmed Addison, *waves hand* “This is not The One you’re looking for.”…

[MikeParticipant]

If that’s the case, either Addison looks AMAZING for her age or time is not something that matters in the Tension universe 😉

Love ya @reaton 😀

[RustyParticipant]

Grrrrrrrrrr…… let’s just say…

This One has no comment.
(See what I did there…….)

[MelissaModerator]

Well @mike just as I was all getting feelz today you come in with this. I love it!

I have it on my blog but here goes my crazy theory, similar to yours:

-III busts in while Two is ready to commit self-sacrifice, shouts at us all for believing in this and tap dances on his way out with a cane (and yes a sparkly bowtie). ~four pops in and just gives us all the middle finger. Five doesn’t give a shit and never comes (five never struck me as an event peroson). One arrives, shakes his head, and just leaves.

[RustyParticipant]

I want a full blown musical number from III, just sayin’

[MelissaModerator]

I want ~four to sing too

“I’m gonna wash that tension outta my hair,
I’m gonna wash that tension outta my hair,
I’m gonna wash that tension outta my hair,
And it send it on it’s wayyyyyy.”

[RustyParticipant]

Really… a South Pacific reference, @mkarrett? Did not see that coming.

[MikeParticipant]

We all show up tonight to an empty room. We find a cipher on the table. After it’s decoded, it reads “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine”

[MelissaModerator]

….

A CHRISTMAS STORY REF?! Wow! 😀

[Addison BornParticipant]

Consider the burrito; specifically the Beefy 5 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell. Picture in your mind the taste, the texture, but most importantly, the form it takes. When eaten, the burrito is positioned to be taller than it is wide.

As is the numeral 1

I feel like this is the meeting point tonight – the now-closed Taco Bell on Santee.

[MelissaModerator]

I mean, Anoch anagram is Nacho. So…..

[MelissaModerator]

Here’s another:

People show up in a room tonight, completely empty except for III who tells you “Thank You guys, But Our Addison is in Another Castle”.

[MikeParticipant]

Holy shit…this!

[RustyParticipant]

I almost did a spit take with my Ovaltine over this!!!! Haha!!!

[MikeParticipant]

A zombified @thebuz shows up, kills 2…then gets on the phone and says “Send…more….Gatekeepers”

[TheBuzParticipant]

YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING HAUNT?! This is a way of life!

[MikeParticipant]

Do you want to party? It’s party time!

[TheBuzParticipant]

@gatekeeper2 is going to take off her clothes and dance on the graves of the OOA’s enemies.

[MikeParticipant]

I feel bad for the people who aren’t getting this reference

[TheBuzParticipant]

They are missing out. I’m surprised no one else has jumped in here.

[RustyParticipant]

They just don’t want to comment because they are dead inside. And…

… it hurts to be dead.

[PuppetGirlParticipant]

Ill admit it…I don’t get the reference

[NosnevetsParticipant]

Or they had too much trioxin..

[Sean (@TheGilded)Moderator]

I’ll be honest, I don’t get the reference… but I do support some sort of satanic-ritual inspired nude Disciple/OOA dance off as a finale.

[RustyParticipant]

Think Linnea Quigley. 😉

[TheBuzParticipant]

Delete

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by  TheBuz.

[MelissaModerator]

@thebuz do you want me to delete above entry?

[TheBuzParticipant]

Yes pls!

[DimStyleParticipant]

So here is my theory.

@gatekeeper2 enters the room to the ones chosen to bear witness…

Gatekeeper 2, looking out to those of you lucky enough to be in attendance:

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called life

Electric word life
It means forever and that’s a mighty long time
But I’m here to tell you
There’s something else
The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or night

A strange melody, familiar to all, plays in the background.

Gatekeeper 2 keeps looking over her shoulder, nervous. When instructed, she steps aside. From the darkness appears a man of medium stature in long purple flowing robes with…with sequins!?

He steps into the light, hands outward as if to embrace his followers. The ONE is revealed to be the artist formally known as Prince…now referred to simply as the ONE and he has taken a new symbol. The Symbol formally used by the O.O.A

It is reveled that his is in fact, not dead but a hoax to mask his true coming as the ONE.

He speaks:

If you set your mind free baby, maybe you’d understand.

He establishes a new O.O.A. One based on Love, understanding, good music and very little tolerance for fools who hate.

the One: and we’ll watch them fall, they stand in the way of love, and we will smoke them all.

The ONE then invites everyone to his house and makes them pancakes.

[MikeParticipant]

and then we play basketball…blouses vs skins

[MelissaModerator]

Game: Blouses.

[NosnevetsParticipant]

Would you like some pancakes?

[DimStyleParticipant]

yeah but it has to be a Zorro-type outfit, with ruffles down the front, something that “a figure skater would wear”

[Anonymous]

But I don’t like pancakes. 😭

[NosnevetsParticipant]

Then you need to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka @astro4545

[DimStyleParticipant]

HAHA! I just spit my water out when I read that

[Anonymous]

YOU”LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

[PuppetGirlParticipant]

My theory is tonight everyone will get there and sit in chairs facing a couch and then Addison and Tom Cruise will walk out and jump on it.

[Andrew KaschParticipant]

The One is revealed to be Bob the PR guy. All the members of the OOA throw on spooky skeleton costumes and scream “Ooga Booga! Happy hauntings!”

[Lukas LParticipant]

Everyone shows up in a dark room, Addison walks out and sits down. Takes out the Helmet and places it on her head. What little lights are in the room start to flicker as a portal takes her away in a flash. Each person in attendance will then put on the helmet which 1 by one takes them to another dimension. In this dimension you are turned into a cat like humanoid and one of you turns into a cat looking lizard person who has tourette syndrome with the word SNARF and adds it to the end of almost every sentence. You know know your objective is to find and destroy addison who has turned into a mummy who goes by the name of MumRa!

[NateParticipant]

BoS challenges the OOA to a basketball game. As those of us who defected arrive on the court, we see our rivals. They are of considerably smaller stature than us. However, they begin to morph and shift until they’re huge, muscular beings, who are obviously more suited to this game. Suddenly, a savior is risen! The One comes, and no one would’ve guessed: MICHAEL JORDAN! He begins a new organization, the Oracular Order of Jordan, and it’s based on SICK BASKETBALL SKILLS AND SPACE JAAAAAAAAM! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[NosnevetsParticipant]

And so the Wyld Stallyns are the cheerleaders looking on as you fight our battles so we don’t have to? Makes sense to me.

[MelissaModerator]

OMG now I can think is f*cking R. Kelly “I believe I can fly”.

LOL THANKS.

[NosnevetsParticipant]

Better than R. Kelly’s “Pregnant”…

[Lukas LParticipant]

[MikeParticipant]

We arrive tonight and realize the event is taking place at Nakatomi Tower. While we’re all partying, the BoS attempt to take over the party and the building. They take us all hostage. Addison is in the other room relaxing for her presentation and realizes what’s going on and plays a game of cat and mouse throughout the building. Eventually, it’s her and Sentinel hanging by a window and she let’s Sentinel fall to his death.

[Addison BornParticipant]

ALLLLLLRIGHT WHO LEAKED THE PLANS?!?

[Susie JParticipant]

Through dangers untold and hardships un-numbered, we arrive bedraggled and exhausted to the sanctum sanctorum. Oddly, a throwaway object we found way back, a key in a dog house, seems to fit the keyhole in an otherwise featureless door. We step through to a 1950’s sci-if control room where a Shiba Inu with s headset on throws switches and presses buttons seemingly at random. She spots you and falls off the rolling chair she’s perched on. “Oh… It was you all along” you exclaim as she rushes up to lick your face. Cue credits with jaunty bark-filled version of theme song…

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by  Susie J. Reason: Sassage fingers sticky with apple juice

[MelissaModerator]

@reaton brings the bear tonight.
Others see this and immediately pounce on him in effort to nab the bear.

And then….

III appears, he turns on music.
~four comes into the room joyfully shouting “HOT POTATO Y’ALL!”
Gatekeeper 5 reluctantly gives the rules.

All participants soon play a delightful game, while Addison turns away with Mark standing at the door, holding his hand out for hers. Tom tries to stop them but Addison looks at her Daddy and says, “no dad, this is my _path”. Mark and Addison leave quietly, never to be seen again.

One and DLB are in a dark corner, shaking their damn heads at the turns of events.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by  Melissa.

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