Tension brand › Forums › OFF TOPIC › Off the wall theories…
Tagged: Cray-cray, I'm calling it, totally logical, you'll see
This topic contains 76 replies, has 19 voices, and was last updated by Rusty 8 years, 3 months ago.
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 2, 2016 at 7:41 pm #17224
I’d like to give us a place to throw all of our theories that we *know* aren’t actually going to happen, but should still see the light of day anyway. I’ll start with one I was joking about concerning the box…
What if the box actually contains a Care Bear that will then rally all the other Care Bear’s for a *CARE BEAR STARE* and then everyone will see each others points, find a common ground and get along. Then we’ll all skip along off into the sunset towards Ascension holding hands.
What’s yours?
-
August 2, 2016 at 7:54 pm #17227
I’ll bite.
Think of Tinker Bell for a moment. When she was nearly dead all the audience had to do was clap loudly to revive her. Well, I thought maybe the same thing could happen with Gatekeepers, they die as we talk less and less about them OR they grow stronger/more active/revive the more we talk about them.
-
August 2, 2016 at 8:19 pm #17231
Lol! Did you cray-cray tag this?
-
August 2, 2016 at 8:21 pm #17232
Sure did. On that note next theory that isn’t as nuts as ours:
As soon as people like us spout out theories like this Tension comes in with something plot related to shut us up haha
-
August 3, 2016 at 7:38 am #17260
-
August 2, 2016 at 8:56 pm #17235
Last week, I had the chance to hear a missionary from Haiti speak. He runs an orphanage of around sixty boys. In the 2010 earthquake, all of his boys survived, except one. A cement block fell from the ceiling and hit this one boy square in the head. As they were looking through the wreckage, the owner, also a preacher, grabbed the boy’s body and prayed to God to bring his soul back. The boy woke up, was rushed to the hospital, and has since fully recovered. Maybe that’s ~four’s destiny!
-
August 2, 2016 at 9:33 pm #17238
-
August 2, 2016 at 9:34 pm #17240
-
August 2, 2016 at 9:45 pm #17243
ππππ
-
August 2, 2016 at 10:13 pm #17244
Clap your hands if you believe in four-ies!
-
August 2, 2016 at 10:15 pm #17245
How would she honestly react though? I feel like her style wouldn’t just be “I’m back, baby!” All overtly, yknow?
I feel like she’d walk into a meetup covered in dirt and mud and then just wipe her brow and flick it to the ground.
-
-
August 2, 2016 at 10:19 pm #17248
@nate31464: I wouldn’t put it past FOUR to come back from the dead just to attempt insulting me with more uggs and pumpkin spice latte jokes. She’s ornery like that.
-
August 2, 2016 at 11:44 pm #17250
Lol she’s assuredly looking up and laughing at what a white girl you are.
-
August 3, 2016 at 12:02 am #17251
@nate31464: FOUR was only half right in her assumption. I’ve never owned uggs but I do enjoy the occasional pumpkin spice latte. Nevertheless, it was an amusing burn. I laughed sincerely. Point goes to FOUR. (RIP FOUR and good luck with your magical resurrection.)
-
August 3, 2016 at 7:41 am #17261
Will Pumpkin Spice Lattes be available when Ascension rolls around because I’ll get one with you in her memory @electrichippo. That burn was so good it deserves it!
-
August 3, 2016 at 9:20 am #17276
Nothing wrong with Pumpkin Spiced Lattes!
-
-
August 3, 2016 at 3:48 am #17252
-
August 3, 2016 at 4:39 am #17253
Woah!
-
August 3, 2016 at 7:44 am #17262
@blondiecamps I wonder if that Care Bear can still muster up the love required to repair these ties. I think we might need a fresher Care Bear.
-
August 3, 2016 at 8:04 am #17265
This one is pretty “fresh” π
-
August 3, 2016 at 8:10 am #17266
Maybe this Care Bear’s power would bring Four back! haha
-
August 3, 2016 at 8:13 am #17267
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:24 am #19648
With all the bum out theories going on, I thought I’d revive this thread and put some crazy, funny theories about what will happen tonight.
Theory one: While we’re all at the location, something “bad” happens to Addison and she dies. The One is there and the rest of us are having a party and dancing. The One walks away to a corner and then sees the Gatekeeper ghosts of Four, III, and 2 (Think the ending of Return of the Jedi). None of us see them, but they are there watching us
Theory two: III crashes the party. 2 and The One try to fight him but it’s no use. At one point, he backs up and rips his shirt open to reveal all the tortured souls that he killed within his chest (Like in A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3)
Theory three: Addison is really Liam Neeson’s daughter who went missing. Her father has a particular set of skills, he has found us, and he will kill us.
Ok, your turn. Let’s make today fun and weird!
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:31 am #19650
@mike. As long as there is no one falling to their knees and screaming “noooo nooooooooooo” I like your theory 1 idea!
Okay hear me out: Addison has it out with whomever and she dies. Everyone is upset, but knows she sacrificed herself to bring about what new information she has revealed. As everyone leaves, Benny/Mark pops up from the floor boards. Addison &Benny/Mark has faked their own deaths so they can be together without having to fear the OOA. And they skip off into the sunset.
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:35 am #19653
@darthzannah – of Benny tells Addison that HE is her father!!
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:38 am #19654
Addison is gone (ran away, died, etc). We all get bummed out and talk to The One and tell him there’s no one left. Then he tells us that “There is another”
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:54 am #19662
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:33 am #19651
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:52 am #19660
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:55 am #19663
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:02 am #19669
Grrrrrrrrrr…… let’s just say…
This One has no comment.
(See what I did there…….)
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:34 am #19652
Well @mike just as I was all getting feelz today you come in with this. I love it!
I have it on my blog but here goes my crazy theory, similar to yours:
-III busts in while Two is ready to commit self-sacrifice, shouts at us all for believing in this and tap dances on his way out with a cane (and yes a sparkly bowtie). ~four pops in and just gives us all the middle finger. Five doesn’t give a shit and never comes (five never struck me as an event peroson). One arrives, shakes his head, and just leaves.
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:39 am #19655
I want a full blown musical number from III, just sayin’
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:48 am #19658
I want ~four to sing too
“I’m gonna wash that tension outta my hair,
I’m gonna wash that tension outta my hair,
I’m gonna wash that tension outta my hair,
And it send it on it’s wayyyyyy.” -
September 7, 2016 at 9:50 am #19659
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:42 am #19656
We all show up tonight to an empty room. We find a cipher on the table. After it’s decoded, it reads “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine”
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:52 am #19661
….
A CHRISTMAS STORY REF?! Wow! π
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:55 am #19664
Consider the burrito; specifically the Beefy 5 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell. Picture in your mind the taste, the texture, but most importantly, the form it takes. When eaten, the burrito is positioned to be taller than it is wide.
As is the numeral 1
I feel like this is the meeting point tonight – the now-closed Taco Bell on Santee.
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:58 am #19666
I mean, Anoch anagram is Nacho. So…..
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 9:57 am #19665
Here’s another:
People show up in a room tonight, completely empty except for III who tells you “Thank You guys, But Our Addison is in Another Castle”.
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:04 am #19672
A zombified @thebuz shows up, kills 2…then gets on the phone and says “Send…more….Gatekeepers”
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:14 am #19673
YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING HAUNT?! This is a way of life!
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:16 am #19674
Do you want to party? It’s party time!
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:21 am #19677
@gatekeeper2 is going to take off her clothes and dance on the graves of the OOA’s enemies.
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:25 am #19680
I feel bad for the people who aren’t getting this reference
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:41 am #19689
They are missing out. I’m surprised no one else has jumped in here.
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:50 am #19694
They just don’t want to comment because they are dead inside. And…
… it hurts to be dead.
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:53 am #19696
Ill admit it…I don’t get the reference
-
September 7, 2016 at 11:00 am #19703
Or they had too much trioxin..
-
September 7, 2016 at 11:59 am #19711
I’ll be honest, I don’t get the reference… but I do support some sort of satanic-ritual inspired nude Disciple/OOA dance off as a finale.
-
September 7, 2016 at 1:26 pm #19734
Think Linnea Quigley. π
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:21 am #19675
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:32 am #19685
So here is my theory.
@gatekeeper2 enters the room to the ones chosen to bear witness…
Gatekeeper 2, looking out to those of you lucky enough to be in attendance:
Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called lifeElectric word life
It means forever and that’s a mighty long time
But I’m here to tell you
There’s something else
The afterworldA world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or nightA strange melody, familiar to all, plays in the background.
Gatekeeper 2 keeps looking over her shoulder, nervous. When instructed, she steps aside. From the darkness appears a man of medium stature in long purple flowing robes with…with sequins!?
He steps into the light, hands outward as if to embrace his followers. The ONE is revealed to be the artist formally known as Prince…now referred to simply as the ONE and he has taken a new symbol. The Symbol formally used by the O.O.A
It is reveled that his is in fact, not dead but a hoax to mask his true coming as the ONE.
He speaks:
If you set your mind free baby, maybe you’d understand.
He establishes a new O.O.A. One based on Love, understanding, good music and very little tolerance for fools who hate.
the One: and we’ll watch them fall, they stand in the way of love, and we will smoke them all.
The ONE then invites everyone to his house and makes them pancakes.
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:38 am #19687
and then we play basketball…blouses vs skins
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:43 am #19690
Game: Blouses.
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:46 am #19692
Would you like some pancakes?
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:53 am #19697
yeah but it has to be a Zorro-type outfit, with ruffles down the front, something that βa figure skater would wearβ
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:51 am #19695
AnonymousBut I don’t like pancakes. π
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:55 am #19698
Then you need to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka @astro4545
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:56 am #19699
HAHA! I just spit my water out when I read that
-
September 7, 2016 at 11:08 am #19708
AnonymousYOU”LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:50 am #19693
My theory is tonight everyone will get there and sit in chairs facing a couch and then Addison and Tom Cruise will walk out and jump on it.
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:57 am #19700
The One is revealed to be Bob the PR guy. All the members of the OOA throw on spooky skeleton costumes and scream “Ooga Booga! Happy hauntings!”
-
September 7, 2016 at 10:57 am #19701
Everyone shows up in a dark room, Addison walks out and sits down. Takes out the Helmet and places it on her head. What little lights are in the room start to flicker as a portal takes her away in a flash. Each person in attendance will then put on the helmet which 1 by one takes them to another dimension. In this dimension you are turned into a cat like humanoid and one of you turns into a cat looking lizard person who has tourette syndrome with the word SNARF and adds it to the end of almost every sentence. You know know your objective is to find and destroy addison who has turned into a mummy who goes by the name of MumRa!
-
September 7, 2016 at 12:02 pm #19714
BoS challenges the OOA to a basketball game. As those of us who defected arrive on the court, we see our rivals. They are of considerably smaller stature than us. However, they begin to morph and shift until they’re huge, muscular beings, who are obviously more suited to this game. Suddenly, a savior is risen! The One comes, and no one would’ve guessed: MICHAEL JORDAN! He begins a new organization, the Oracular Order of Jordan, and it’s based on SICK BASKETBALL SKILLS AND SPACE JAAAAAAAAM! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-
September 7, 2016 at 12:06 pm #19715
And so the Wyld Stallyns are the cheerleaders looking on as you fight our battles so we don’t have to? Makes sense to me.
-
September 7, 2016 at 12:19 pm #19721
OMG now I can think is f*cking R. Kelly “I believe I can fly”.
LOL THANKS.
-
September 7, 2016 at 12:24 pm #19724
Better than R. Kelly’s “Pregnant”…
-
September 7, 2016 at 1:07 pm #19733
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 12:10 pm #19717
We arrive tonight and realize the event is taking place at Nakatomi Tower. While we’re all partying, the BoS attempt to take over the party and the building. They take us all hostage. Addison is in the other room relaxing for her presentation and realizes what’s going on and plays a game of cat and mouse throughout the building. Eventually, it’s her and Sentinel hanging by a window and she let’s Sentinel fall to his death.
-
September 7, 2016 at 12:19 pm #19722
ALLLLLLRIGHT WHO LEAKED THE PLANS?!?
-
-
September 7, 2016 at 12:51 pm #19729
Through dangers untold and hardships un-numbered, we arrive bedraggled and exhausted to the sanctum sanctorum. Oddly, a throwaway object we found way back, a key in a dog house, seems to fit the keyhole in an otherwise featureless door. We step through to a 1950’s sci-if control room where a Shiba Inu with s headset on throws switches and presses buttons seemingly at random. She spots you and falls off the rolling chair she’s perched on. “Oh… It was you all along” you exclaim as she rushes up to lick your face. Cue credits with jaunty bark-filled version of theme song…
- This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Susie J. Reason: Sassage fingers sticky with apple juice
-
September 7, 2016 at 1:01 pm #19731
@reaton brings the bear tonight.
Others see this and immediately pounce on him in effort to nab the bear.And then….
III appears, he turns on music.
~four comes into the room joyfully shouting “HOT POTATO Y’ALL!”
Gatekeeper 5 reluctantly gives the rules.All participants soon play a delightful game, while Addison turns away with Mark standing at the door, holding his hand out for hers. Tom tries to stop them but Addison looks at her Daddy and says, “no dad, this is my _path”. Mark and Addison leave quietly, never to be seen again.
One and DLB are in a dark corner, shaking their damn heads at the turns of events.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Melissa.
-
AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.