[Susie JParticipant]

As I awaken, refreshed and invigorated, I resurrect my ancient Toshiba Satellite to compose my account of yesterday’s events so as not to fight my phone’s absurdist autocorrect tendencies and my natural fat finger syndrome.

Brothers and Sisters, let me tell you, yesterday was like a holiday for me, better than Valentine’s Day but not quite up to Halloween. I love getting together in the corporal aspect with my fellow Aspirants. I have met the most wonderful, convivial, witty people through the graces of the OOA. The fact that our get-togethers are usually crowned with an event is just the cherry on top. A lot of us communicate every day and I want to apologize to them now for unknowingly inviting my personal brand of randomness and dumb humor into their lives on a personal basis. =) But you all make me laugh and I like you so you’re stuck with me. But on to the recounting:

I had prepared party favors and a package to present to the members of the OOA when I arrived but received the e-mail that no bags or phones were going to be allowed into the event. I had planned on just carrying in the gift (a drawing, a necklace, a little clay Ban Hammer I made for GK4, one of my pamphlets and a letter), but I got so excited on seeing my people converging I left all of it in the car with my husband who dropped me off and promptly buggered off to await the news of my demise or my summons. The good news is, this event finally persuaded him to sign on as a particpating Aspirant rather than living vicariously through me. This puts me in the awkward position of now being married to one of my Brothers. I’ll let the social and moral ramifications of that alone.

Joyous greetings were made with old friends and new friends as faces were matched to forum handles and hugs and smiles abounded outside the location where a white paper instructed us to wait outside until 1:30. Eventually, the door opened and we formed a line to gain entry. I happened to be last so when I crossed the threshold I was able to take in the meeting hall abuzz with my peers, the reception area where Mary the OOA representative was twittering like a song bird, handing out name badges (I was #13 WOOT!), Addison forlornly handing out roses, the photographer (I’ll call her Grumpy Cat) curtly gesturing for us to pause for our pictures, cream-colored suit guy dancing happily and scarf guy nodding approvingly. I decided to walk the perimeter of the room first, noting the cellist who was markedly expressing being uncomfortable, the snacks (I was so excited I never even ate anything and I assure you, if you ever wanted to capture me, just stick a doughnut under a box with a stick), the posters (I was glad to see that my guess “Oracular Order of Anoch” was right), the webcams (footage or security?) and the artifacts on the tables (bowl of candy corn, ugh, no thank you). Everyone was mingling and observing each other. Like a church potluck, we were all smiles and whispered gossip and speculations. From the other side of the accordian curtains separating the meeting hall from the bar came the din and half-heard conversations of the veterans. About a third of my brain was focused on that to screen if they were saying anything pertinent to what was happening on our side. I had just sat down when I was approached by the bescarved leader. He asked me if I was an honest person and I answered in the affirmative. In fact, I am known to be a lethal combination of too honest and lacking a filter sometimes. He isntructed me to circulate the room, find three people, tell them each a secret about myself and gauge the effect on both me and them. I would like to formally and publicly apologize to Brothers and Sister I confessed to. What I told you was 100% true and dark as fuck. I’m actually a pretty happy person generally (prone to major depressive episodes sometimes, but who isn’t?). I would also like to thank you all for your understanding, empathy and compassion. I’m proud to be counted among you in this experience. I returned to the leader when I had finished and he asked me to recount my activity and findings. We both noted that it is interesting how these uniquely human moments chime among us universally and that people who perhaps don’t know each other well or at all can connect instantly when we open up and show our vulnerabilities. He asked me to seek him out after the ceremony and I returned to my seat.

Not long thereafter, Grumpy Cat nodded me over. She growled at me (paraphrasing) “You look so sweet and innocent (editor’s note: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!), like a perfect little snowflake that if a dog were to piss on you, you’d fall apart. Do you think you’re strong enough to be here? I’ve been here ten years and they’ve got ME taking fucking pictures.” At this she drew an X on my name tag and wished me luck before turning away.

At this point I returned to my seat and continued observing the room. @gilded‘s demeanor by this time had completely changed and when I approached him he gently rebuffed me and said nothing. Others were carrying out tasks similar to mine or were engaged in conversations with other Aspirants or OOA members. Soon the leader announced the beginning of the ceremony, gave a short address as to why we were gathered together and introduced our Scribe to address the congregation. @mike gave a fine speech concerning the gift of community (markedly stepping down off of the stage to put himself on the same lavel as the audience. <3 You got style, Scribe 1 ^___^). At this point, I would be remiss if I did not mention that during the Scribe’s address, the cream-colored suit guy sat down next to one of us and it became immediately apparent that he was holding this person as they wept. While I won’t go too deeply into it, it occurs to me that this might have been noticed by members of the congregation and there may be questions about it. I will say that it was not part of the ceremony, it was not planned and the person in question is totally fine. It was one of those personal human moments where, in my opinion, cream-colored suit guy wasn’t being a member of the OOA, he was being a good human being. I’m sorry if that is some cryptic bullshit for the rest of you, but that’s all you’re going to get from me.

The leader then rang The Bell and the cellist performed briefly before events turned to the nitty gritty matters of the organization. The traitor was presented before us, hooded and flanked by orange and white robed members. Mike Rizzo’s crime(s) were presented to us as was his face and it was put to the group to decide whether to accept him back into the fold or banish him. Despite a few nays the vast majority of us welcomed him back to the group unhesitatingly. He quickly sat down and remained pale and withdrawn the rest of the time I saw him. I daresay, he look almost ill, but he did seem to have a slight cough and I imagine his personal experience before we saw him must have been harrowing.

The second order of business was the leader’s announement that an initiate was going to be disrobed and that she was going to be inspected before us (I had a brief moment of unease that it would be one of us and I was wearing way too elaborate an outfit and I was going commando so. . . .). At this point Addison was escorted out and made to kneel before the leader. With a shout and a banging of the door, her father burst in running toward her. When she heard his voice, I saw her turn and yell “Daddy?!” and at that moment I saw the youth and fear on her face. The resignment and broken attitude in her body was gone for those fleeting, adrenaline-soaked seconds. Her father began shouting at us as we sat frozen in amazement, he told us that we were supporting kidnappers, that we were aiding and abetting criminals. He took out his burner flip-phone and aimed it at US (I waved awkwardly. I mean, it was a flip-phone, I doubt the footage would hold up in court) telling us that we were now exposed on the internet. At this point the security intervened and yes, the tussle knocked a significant hole in the wall (which, my husband just pointed out, might have been the actual reason for the hasty departure of the OOA. “Oh shit, there goes the deposit. Elders, ROLL OUT!”).

After her father was forcefully ejected from the hall, Addison was dragged out the front by the flanking members and the leader hastily apologized for the interruption and promised that the next location would not be compromised. He instructed us to remain seated, called out for the Elders to leave and took off quickly out the front door. I noticed he left the bell, so I immediately went up to the stage to grab what I felt was an important ceremonial relic of the OOA and brought it to @mike who was as mystified as everyone else. The security agent remained stationed in the back of the room. As we emerged from our shock we began dissecting what we had just witnessed and scoured the room for clues. It felt like a murder mystery dinner in a way. I asked the bouncer if there was a restroom and he shook his head. I wasn’t buying it because there was a bar. At this point the accordion partition had been opened by a venue member so I wandered next door where the kindly bar goers directed me to the bathrooms. Across from the ladies room was a door opening on a small wooden stairwell, I stuck my head in (I’m a former ghosthunter so I’m super nosey), looked up and saw Addison who quickly ducked away as I said, “Hi!” I continued into the restroom and when I exited the door was shut. Back in the hall, people were taking notes on anything and everything. Chatter was rampant and we gathered at the crack in the wall in wonder. After a bit, a girl emerged from the back and handed @kasch a flip-phone. I trailed after him a bit as it became apparent that he was receiving instructions. After a few moments of wandering I asked him what he was looking for, he told me he was told to go upstairs, so I showed him the staircase, bid him return safely and went back out to the hall. Examinations and questions continued until he returned somewhat ruffled and he told us that we would have to exit immediately. Once again I found myself last in line, so I turned to the security guard and thanked him very sincerely and went outside.

We all agreed to meet at a bowling alley about ten minutes away to unwind, unpack, gossip, etc. When my husband arrived, I grabbed my gifts and re-entered the venue through the bar where they helped me open the accordion curtain, I kind of averted my eyes and stuck my package out rambling about how I wanted to give it to them but I forgot it in the car. I also returned a sharpie that had been commandeered for note taking. I did maybe see a woman that I didn’t see before with long, dark hair and a beautiful smile. I didn’t mean to.

Afterwards, we convened at the bowling alley were drinks were had, Mike Rizzo brought tacos (and continued to look unhappy/unwell) and fellowship continued. And that is pretty much my piece of the puzzle. I just want to say that I really appreciate this community. I really loved meeting some of you for the first time. What we have here is a great gathering of smart, funny, talented, warm, awesome folks. No matter where the _path leads us, all of you are the real blessing of this experience.

[Susie JParticipant]

From the chaos will emerge…. A lovlier chaos. Thank you both for all you do!

[Susie JParticipant]

Hey there Brothers and Sisters, I figured with the Ringing of the Bell coming up on us it would be good to toss out the idea of a meet up? Most likely for after the event on the 29th. Pending the location, we can lock down a place to get together and unpack/unwind, share some laughs, compare notes and ideas. I love getting together with my peeps. What do you think?

[Susie JParticipant]

Thank you! 😊

[Susie JParticipant]

**HUG** You are a lovely delight. ^__^

[Susie JParticipant]

The dials are a little bit fussy. Just fiddle with them and it should work.

[Susie JParticipant]

TEARS WOULD SUCK FOR CLEANING, THE SALINITY WOULD LEAVE SALTY TRAILS EVERYWHERE, LIKE YOUR FEMALE RELATIVES.

I’M SORRY, THAT WAS WRONG OF ME.

[Susie JParticipant]

THAT’S OKAY CUZ I’M FRESSSSSSSH, LIKE UH… WOKKA FLOCKA FLAME….?

[Susie JParticipant]

ARE YOU HITTING ON ME?!

MAY YOUR PINKIE AND YOUR PENIS SWITCH PLACES AND YOU WILL NEVER PLAY THE FLUTE AGAIN.

[Susie JParticipant]

I DON’T DRINK COFFEE EITHER.

FART BUTT.

[Susie JParticipant]

ONE: U MAD?

TWO: I DON’T DRINK EITHER.

THREE: SUCK A COCONUT!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

[Susie JParticipant]

OF ALL OF THE INFLAMMATORY COMMENTS AT MY DISPOSAL I’M GOING TO GO WITH: I DON’T HAVE PIE WEDGES MISSING FROM MY PUPILS. BWAHAHAHA! EYE PIE.

[Susie JParticipant]

TRY EATING A CHILIDOG WITH HOT SAUCE RIGHT BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP.

WHO IS FELIX?

• This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by  Susie J.

[Susie JParticipant]

I HOPE YOU DREAM OF NICKELBACK, CODY. 😃

[Susie JParticipant]

That’s a pretty big Twinkie.

[Author]

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