[Susie JParticipant]

Okay, I need to jump in now. First of all, I’m SUPER SORRY it took me so long to post page one. I’m being demoted at work and yet I’m training the two people they hired to replace me which means being stuck at a place that causes me pain and awkwardness for inordinate amounts of time. I realize this seems like a shitty way to kick off what I felt was a really lovely way to bring the community together and pique interest in what might be considered the pivotal period between meeting the OOA (again?) and Ascension. So I take ownership for setting what so many consider the questionable pacing.

https://i.imgur.com/FiCld1E.png

Second, why we gotta be mean to each other like this? We were told that no matter who says the words, it’s the message we should hear in spite of distractions. I feel like @atticus360 interpreted this opportunity quite elegantly. Fine, we’re impatient and eager, but just because an Apostle is in possession of something we feel like we should all take a gander at doesn’t entitle us to be rough with our words or demean his decision on how to share with us. Many of us have shared that we were told something or given something and did not immediately reveal it or held it back for whatever reason. And we held our water then. Okay BOS, we know you would have handled it better but the track record hasn’t shown a lot of forthcoming gestures. The snarky commentary only serves to stir the pot. If in the future, it is shown that you all built some phenomenal monument to enlightenment and held your tongues I’ll eat my crow with humility.

Third, despite my crankiness, I love you all! You make me happy & you make me laugh and I love hanging out with you & meeting you. I understand that any group of human beings is gonna have their bumps and disagreements. I just hope all of you do too and we get through this together, even if that means bleeding out in a ginormous hell pit with you.

[Susie JParticipant]

I like your voice. 💖

[Susie JParticipant]

D’aww! You guys are too kind. The artistic credit goes to Bill the human skull (yes, he’s real).

[Susie JParticipant]

Thank you! Equal, if not more credit should go to @prufrock5150. I’m just a silly pink unicorn.

[Susie JParticipant]

https://i.imgur.com/4f9CG4y.png

[Susie JParticipant]

Transcript:

So! I’ve never kept a journal before. I know that’s strange.

Aren’t girls supposed to be all about that? Writing down our goals and dreams, the eye color or the odd boy we can’t stop thinking about, and manifesting, manifesting, manifesting…

That’s what my girlfriends in acting class are all about, anyway. Write it down and make it happen. Write it down and believe it.

Bullshit.

(Daddy hates when I say that; ha!)

I didn’t get to this train station by manifesting. I got here by doing.

I suppose that’s why I love acting so much… you can do anything, be anyone – no manifesting necessary. Besides, I’m only good with other people’s words.

So, yeah. I’ve never kept a journal before. But today, for the first time in my life, I am at a train station and I will be in Hollywood in 2.5 days, and I am going to have a story to tell. What is in this book will mean something someday to someone.

I’ve just bought this notebook at the gift shop and I’m a bit disappointed – it’s so dark!

[Susie JParticipant]

Those of us who have participated in the epic Alone scavenger hunt a couple of years ago will recognize that floor and that section of the DTLA library. #justsayin

[Susie JParticipant]

Okay, I’m back. While I was bumbling through my shenanigans, Atticus (Possibly Ellis’s father? Hmmm) was firmly establishing that the Church of Anoch (supplicating gesture by the other two) is not a cult, it is an organization that can help make you a better you. A blonde woman stood up in the audience and stated that her brother took part in this “game” two years ago in Oklahoma and was never heard from again. “This is BULLSHIT!” she yelled as she tore off her ScareLA wristband and stormed out.

@jonathanscarela was clearly at a loss as to how to salvage the panel but Atticus bulldozed onward and the other gentleman would aggressively warn Jonathan not to interrupt or correct Atticus when he nervously tried to interject or ask for clarification. At one point the woman quietly shared that she was once like us, lost and sad but then she found the OOA and she was inestimably better for it. Then Trista appeared from the audience and said that she was an actress and would love to “have a taste” of what the OOA was all about. The woman in her sweet pink sweater smiled as she rose and tenderly led Trista by her arm behind the black curtain. At this point I had scuttled to the front row and noticed some of the panel mark my movement and ignore it. A few minutes later a scream erupted into the auditorium and Trista burst disheveled from the curtain, yelling “What the fuck is this?!” and she ran out as the older woman serenely emerged with a knowing satisfied smile and retook her seat on the stage.

Then another fellow from the audience rose, taking off his baseball cap and sunglasses and revealed himself to be Thomas Barrow. His righteous anger unleashed, he stated that he lost his loved one too. He threw pictures of the Barrow family at members of the audience as well as of Addison murdering ~four. He admonished us for being assholes the last time he beseeched us for help (granted his approach could use some work). We supported the transformation of his daughter into a “monster” which is an assertion I would challenge. I mean doesn’t ANYONE think Addison had a heart and brain to choose for herself at any point at all? Anyhow, the panel erupted into chaos and the lights went out as the Sentinel video was projected. Tom was screaming for us all to pay attention while Ellis and/or Atticus yelled for the AV guy to cut it off. At some point I ran up to Ellis in the dark and tried to hand him the bracelets but he fled (completely understandable, my timing is for shit). Then the video ended the lights came up and we sat stunned for a moment before absorbing that that was it and exiting the auditorium. I took the opportunity to sneak over to where Tom Barrow had abandoned his hat and sunglasses and deposited the bracelets in his hat where I noticed a name written inside.

Outside we convened to discuss and spotted Trista who was still extremely shaken up. I did not hear her account directly but she related that the woman escorted her to a red room where she was shown pictures of herself in her apartment and clearly under detailed surveillance. I spotted Atticus standing alone a little ways off. I tip-toed over to tell him I had left a gift in the auditorium and he seemed very uncomfortable. He told me Ellis would be the one to talk to about that. I handed him a homemade pamphlet and he said “I’m not a people person” so I turned to take my leave and realized a cautious crowd had formed behind me. We respectfully dispersed and yelled at two guys who looked like they were observing us from the upper level but turned out to be from the Alone haunt who were innocently texting friends. Whoops.

And that was that. The only other interesting Tension related incident of note was the photo that was surreptitiously taken of a small group of us outside and posted on the social media. Photo ninjas, man. Amirite?

The entire episode once again raises more questions and gives us more pieces of the puzzle to try in one position or another. Is this the OOA showing their hand at using this organization as a front to recruit and fill ranks? Is Ellis being forced to pose as a haunt runner on behalf of a family legacy? These are topics possibly for another thread. All I know is that I am glad I went. I was happy to see so many of my Tension fam (including those that have migrated to the “other side”). I loved meeting Ezi and Kim and Amy. I loved the hotdogs, I loved sampling the other creepy offerings of ScareLA and seeing other friends I know through various other circles (shout outs to Alone, Zombie Joe’s and Heretic).

And that’s my story. I’m sticking to it.

[Susie JParticipant]

@jonathanscarela valiantly tried to maintain the panel structure and continued to ask questions gathered from the forums. Now, I have to take a moment to explain myself to those that were in attendance. At this point, it was clear that we were all strapped in for a ride. I came thinking this was going to be an actual panel with actual interaction and I had made some bracelets that I wanted to give as a gift to the actual creators of this thing I have been sucked into for at least five months now. I sensed a window of opportunity closing and so each time Jonathan paused to say “Let’s take a question from the audience.” My hand shot up. Assiduous eye-contact avoidance ensued. Next time, I stood up with my hand up. Nothing. Okay, how about jumping with my hand up. Nope. Finally, I just said (audibly) “Fuck it.” And sidled up to the front row of seats and planted myself very obviously there amidst the giggles and waited for the next opportunity. And I’m kind of glad I did. But I realize now how it must have looked. One, I’m crazy. Two, that I might have been secretly charged with a task. (Nope, I’m just an awkward, excitable motherfucker). Three, in light of Ellis’s recent post concerning the machinations behind the curtain I totally looked like a nut that might have tried to strangle a member of the OOA if I could just get close enough (no offense @thebuz, I wish I had known. I woulda given you a hug). So I would like to apologize to everyone for being mildly disruptive and probably causing a few pairs of buttocks to clench. My bad!

[Susie JParticipant]

Good morning! Now that my sleep cycle is completed, here is my account:

First, there was a lot of anxiety about gaining entrance on time due to the fact that ScareLA had some kind of Rube Goldberg-esque system in place for everyone to get their credentials before opening up the convention. By 11:20 am we were barely getting our wristbands and definitely feeling the TENSION of making it to the panel on time. Hustling over to the location we saw many familiar faces and once we made it to the meeting room it was actually kind of surprising and very heartening to see how many people we had become friends with and a physical approximation of the community that has coelesced due to this singular experience.

We seated ourselves after the smiles, hugs and hellos. On the stage five directors chairs were illuminated and presently Jonathan appeared and called up @reaton, @mike (Font-a-een), @electrichippo & @kasch. I sighed inwardly thinking that this was the feint Tension was going to use to remain hidden from us, but I was simultaneously glad to see that my friends were able to weigh in and represent the experience from the perspective of the participants. For the few who were just now being introduced to the Tension Experience a finer panel could not have been assembled to represent. Generic background questions were asked concerning when the experience launched and what events had the individuals undergone all of which has also been covered in various articles (Blumhouse) and podcasts (My Haunt Life). The first panel members were dismissed and one of the promotional videos for Tension was played.

Then Jonathan introduced the impresario and creator of the Tension Experience, Ellis Gordon. A young man seated in the crowd sprung up and amidst the applause took to the stage. He explained that he had done experimental theater in New York and wanted to try something wholly new. You have to forgive my vagueness during this section as my attention was being pulled in several different directions at this point. I noticed that there was an older couple seated in the front row and the gentleman seemed agitated by what Ellis was saying, at one point springing up from his seat only to be pulled back down by the woman who seemed to placate him or counsel him to remain calm. Jonathan asked questions gathered from the forums, one of @rizzooooooo’s (sorry if the tag didn’t work, I can’t remember how many o’s are in it). One of the questions was “Where did the idea for all of this come from?” (To paraphrase) Ellis explained that his great-grandfather had passed away and his grandfather was selling off some of the personal effects. Ellis was moving an old desk to this purpose when he found a secret compartment which held a document. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a page of what is most like from the Book of Anoch. He explained that the Church of Anoch (at this, the old couple made a gesture of supplication) was a real thing and this spawned his idea of creating an experience around a shadowy mysterious cult. At this point, another older gentleman, who had been sitting next to Ellis in the audience, stood up and loudly proclaimed, “It is not a cult. It is an organization.” Bewildered silence.

After a moment, Ellis introduced this man as his cowriter and actor, Atticus (can’t remember the last name because I was reeling). He mounted the stage with a presence and command that young Ellis lacked and though he was presented as second fiddle, the body language clearly indicated his hand was firmly planted up Ellis’s rear and Gordon was the meat puppet. The couple from the front row were also summoned and introduced as “actors” and so the dynamics of the panel shifted as the authoritarian attitudes of the three overtook and blotted out the thin idea that Ellis was in control of anything.

[Susie JParticipant]

@thebuz I want to help. Even if it’s just to sit beside you being silent or listening. My heart is breaking for you.

[Susie JParticipant]

Do eeeeet!!!

[Susie JParticipant]

Muahahahaha!! *hiccup!*

[Susie JParticipant]

Boxers, briefs or commando? *just kidding*

[Susie JParticipant]

*excited Kermit the Frog wavy arms*. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

[Author]

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