Diary of Addison Barrow- BoS Cleaned up version

[Michael RizzoParticipant]

Yesterday I reached out to Max to offer assistance in making clean, clear scans of Addison Barrow’s Journal. Max stated that he does not have access to a scanner and agreed to hand over the journal to me for this purpose. Max’s only stipulation was that the journal ne returned to it’s rightful owner (assumedly, Addison Barrow/Gatekeeper2) when this is requested.

Before I go on, I want to thank Max for the effort and work he put into releasing the book. The members of BOS realize this was a huge responsibility, possibly even a burden, that was placed into his hands. Also, thanks to Max for trusting me not to damage or withhold the journal for my or BOS’s own personal gain.

What you will find in this linked google drive is a clean, crisp and highly readable copy of Addison Barrow’s Journal. Nothing is missing. I have even included various shots of the exterior so that you might feel as if you’ve held the book in your own hands. I strongly recommend everyone to read through these new images, even if if it is not your first reading:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B29RqQ-v20NCTnB5aXNZV3E1SG8

Some important things to note about this new copy:

1) There are a total of 51 pages ripped partially or completely from the journal.
(That’s 51 pages of handwritten journal entries that could have helped us better understand the stress and the dangers Addison Barrow faced when entering the doors of the OOA. We should ask: When were the pages removed? Who removed them? Why? Was it Four, Addy herself, or even Regents7?)

2) The following ripped pages are completely missing from the last week’s images of the journal:
Page 20/21
Page 25
Page 29
Page 37
Page 46 (sketch only)
Page 52
Page 56
Page 70
(“Help help help help…” amongst other things appear. These torn pages can give small clues on what was originally written and why it might have been torn out.)

3) Page 28 was too blurry to read in it’s entirety in the last week’s images.
(This page contains important conversation between Mark and Addy in regards to the nature of the OOA.)

4) Page 30 is missing from last week’s images of the journal, as it was provided to us last week.
(This page contains useful information leading up to the OOA mixer.)

5) Page 34 scratched and ripped enough to remove words.
(Maybe Melissa’s lab equipment could help in uncovering what was said?

6) Page 60 was blurry and unreadable in important portions in last week’s copy.
(I can almost make out some of what is said underneath the scribbles, including the word “people.” Again, maybe Melissa’s lab equipment could help in uncovering the rest?)

7) Page 2 is no longer present in the copy of the journal that Max presented to us last week, although it does appear in Lenize’s very helpful transcript.

Myself and BOS look forward to hearing of any new knowledge you gain from these cleaned up pages.

[MelissaModerator]

Hey @rizzzoooooo

I’m not available to do lab work until late next week as I’m on vacation. If the journal is available then great, I’ll give it a shot. I’ll need the journal though.

[ReidVParticipant]

*side note: diary is supposed to be returned by me at some point.

Thats weird, where did page 2 go? It was there last time i looked…

[EziParticipant]

I think you might have accidentally left it out of your upload. I did my transcript from the one posted by the person who did the reading of it.

[Sean (@TheGilded)Moderator]

This symbol appears far too often to be random…

[MelissaModerator]

Yep! In a previous thread I mentioned that it’s a frequent symbol and the state of it gets more sloppy as the entries progress. I think it’s actually quite sad to see not only Addison’s handwriting deteriorate but a symbol that obviously has some sort of meaning for her go as well.

I appreciate you bringing up the symbol actually because it reminded me of the rune slip that @kasch received months ago. Nothing ever evolved from that rune slip (that I know of) so maybe there’s a connection? Addison’s symbol has the gebo* rune and it’s a real stretch but maybe it contains the inguz rune? Inguz is a straight up diamond shape where as Addison’s diamond shape is more curved…

Anyhow you’re absolutely correct @thegilded, that symbol can’t be random.

[Andrew KaschParticipant]

The rune slip appeared to be a note to Addison from Jenna as best as I can figure.
I translated it and spent a long time trying to figure it out, before getting nudged to just post it publicly. That’s when Addison called me begging me to put her in touch with Jenna.
When I asked her at the mixer if she had gotten the help she was looking for, Addison shook her head and ran away.

That’s about all that happened there and Jenna has since disappeared entirely.

[Sean (@TheGilded)Moderator]

I thought that it may be a rune, but haven’t had any luck matching it to anything. Due to her speech recently I tried Germanic runes first, but had no luck there. Also tried Nordic Futhark with no luck either. Do you remember what runeset the previous note used?

[DimStyleParticipant]

@thegilded I cant help but keep thinking the diary symbol is a stylized version of the Nordic Gar rune. GAR is significant because it holds the power of all other runes and is meant to be the center of all runes.

I cant get pic to load so here is link

View post on imgur.com

I wonder if this taken with the rune note combine to mean something.

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[Sean (@TheGilded)Moderator]

@dimstyle – I could see it being Gar, certainly. The previous note ultimately expressed a sentiment of cautious friendship.

If it is Gar, I’d read this as being less of a direct link to the rune slip from before and more of a note that the journal was central and something to be focused on, as it explains Addison’s journey into becoming 2

Also, don’t worry about the link editing so much, the forums are real finicky. If you just leave it broken I can edit it for you to include the image you were trying to add

[Kimberly @ElectricHippoParticipant]

These new pages (not present in Max’s copies) are pretty compelling. They all occur after the time Addison Barrow moved in to the OOA building and right up until Four was becoming more and more threatening. Addison calling out “Help:”

What else did these pages say? Why were these torn from the book?

[MelissaModerator]

There’s also “help” in pages 21/22, which is right after Addison moved in with Sadie. Also “crying” is definitely on the torn page adjacent to page 25. Something is definitely going on though….

[Addison BornParticipant]

I’ve been thinking about the different interactions we’ve had with Addison and the ways she’s represented herself in person vs in the journal, and I’m thinking specifically about the mixer.

Addison at the mixer is super nervous, warns everyone against the OOA (while the other OOA members make sure nobody can have a full conversation with her), she tells me to not get involved with the OOA, and gives Buz a note saying “none of this is what it appears to be.” And the way whatever was happening was being treated as a punishment – she was an initiate who needed to be “dealt with,” she was being brought before us to be stripped and inspected for her transgressions. And the terror in her voice when Tom arrived, and the struggle against the two dragging her out of the building.

And yet she’s super excited to be anointed that day according to the journal. That it was an honor. The fuck?

I know others have had different close experiences with her, moments that also seem contradictory to what she’s written.

I would like to conject that this may be further evidence that the journal was tampered with to give us a nice, happy narrative, that Addison was someone who knew exactly what she was getting into. I think we know that’s probably not the case – see “help help help help help help help” scattered around her time with the OOA.

[RustyParticipant]

@addisonborn I have wondered about that change in tone from the pages to the real person we saw at that mixer, as well. I am not sure if there is “evidence” here that the journal was tampered with, I am more in line with @amieexists in thinking that the anticipation on her part… in that moment… was genuine.

You are right about that mixer, she did seem nervous or afraid and we were definitely kept away from her, for the most part. I was absolutely steered away from her when I tried to talk, to her. For me, the diary reflects her belief at the time, though… but things certainly shifted and her words became more confused and unclear. We may have witnessed, at that mixer, the beginning of the end of Addison and the beginning of Gatekeeper2.

@rizzzoooooo points to the scratched out “ancient language,” which is mysterious but the rest of the comments in that area offer a positive picture to Addison, right? Maybe Mark and Addison are both innocents who found themselves being led astray somehow. (Personally, I think the diary must be taken sincerely, for that is the way most personal journals are approached.)

[DaelaParticipant]

I always perceived the “anointing” to be similar in tone to Rosemary Luther’s Ascension, in which she appeared to voluntarily destroy her own eyes to the point of bleeding so that she could “truly see”. Something along the lines of self-flagellation in certain religious sects – the torture of the flesh in order to achieve some sort of spiritual truth.

It made sense to me that Addison would theoretically want to earn that supposed truth, yet at the same time physically and psychologically shrink from the process. This didn’t seem like a contradiction.

(That said, it is clear that she lacked a sense of agency for most of her life, and particularly that day was not in a position to voluntarily consent to that anointing.)

[AmieParticipant]

Another possibility is that when she wrote her entry, she thought she would be participating in something that she was looking forward to. Something could have changed between that entry and the mixer. Maybe being Anointed was something they ended up taking from her, but for what reason…just throwing out possibilities. It would be nice to see the other pages.

[Michael RizzoParticipant]

Update on Page 34:
There is a line where Addison writes down the response mark gives here about the chanting, however someone seemed to scratch it out so forcefully that it causes a tear in the page. After multiple attempts at reading it, I have finally been able to make out what it says. The full line is as follows:
“If you knew what we were saying though, you’d love it. It’s an ancient language and all we were saying was stuff about the light and knowledge and…”

The original portion scratched out was the “ancient language” portion… Seems a bit weird that something so general was scratched out with so much force, hmmmmmm

[Kimberly @ElectricHippoParticipant]

Good catch @rizzzoooooo!

“Ancient language” does seem a fairly innocuous phrase, but it also seems like the details or purpose of the chanting is something purposely being kept from us. Chanting is brought up in 3 places in the journal:

Page 31 – “this older man walked slowly into the room and everyone started chanting, really quietly, like a whisper… and this awful shiver ran through me, and it was just so creepy, and I wanted Mark to stop more than anything but he wouldn’t even look at me, he was just staring at the man like… like he was enraptured, maybe even a little scared…”

Page 34 – (Rizzo’s reference above – “If you knew what we were saying though, you’d love it. It’s an [scratched out phrase = ancient language] and all we were saying was stuff about the light and knowledge and…”)

Page 47 -“And! I finally understand what the chanting was all about! What it means is Oh! It’s dinner, be back soon!”

What could the purpose of the chanting be? Was it only ever used in regards to @gatekeeper5?

[Anonymous]

Hey @atticus360, where is the journal currently?

[Kimberly @ElectricHippoParticipant]

@coryphella: Nothing has changed. BOS has the journal. But I imagine you already knew this?

[ReidVParticipant]

Lol Rizzo was given the journal in confidence, and preventing the journal from returning back to me, and in turn Addison, is both a underhanded and frankly confusing move on BoS’s part.

[Anonymous]

@atticus360 – Oddly enough last night Sentinel responded to an old Facebook friends request, and friended me. And this was the first thing I saw on their wall. Now, this might be old news to everyone else and that’s fine, I haven’t been around as much. But my understanding was that @rizzzoooooo had the journal in order to make high res scans and that was it.

View post on imgur.com

I blacked out last names just in case those are still private to anyone, and since this is a public forum.

[AH-layParticipant]

I’m the one that posted that on the page (gee, thanks so much for blacking out the last names…it’s not like they can easily find me with my picture) why don’t you ask your questions without tiptoeing over everything there, @coryphella? Like @electrichippo said, you obviously knew who had it.

[Anonymous]

You know, I was trying to do something nice by blacking out names, so there’s no need for the sarcasm. If you want me to black out your photo all you have to do is ask and I’ll do that as well. I’m not up for bickering. I didn’t tiptoe around anything. I posted, slept 7 hours, woke up, posted again. Like I said, I haven’t been here. For all I know, @atticus360 could have joined BOS. This could all be old news for fuck’s sake. It wouldn’t be the first time I didn’t know what was going on.

[Addison BornParticipant]

@coryphella as an aside, I think it should go without saying that doxxing is completely inappropriate. I think you knew that since you blacked out last names, but it’s a small world here. There are quite a few people that enjoy privacy online, and wouldn’t appreciate it if you shared a post on a private page with their first name, gently blurred photo, and location. Leave real lift identities out of this.

Also – wondering why you’re friends with Sentinel since you’re not BOS?

[Anonymous]

If that is considered doxxing, I think you are well aware it’s unintentional. Where I come from doxxing involves very specific details about full names and addresses, not vague details about what someone might look like and a general area where they reside. And it’s now deleted. That was *honestly* me trying to do something right. “I think you knew that since you blacked out last names.” Yeah, which is why I blacked out the fucking last names. Why the hell would a photo and a city make any difference? OK, so she doesn’t want the fucking photo. I’ll blur that out. Doesn’t want the city? Fucking ask me to get rid of that. ASKING gets you a long fucking way with me. Call me an idiot, call me fucking stupid, naive, whatever you want. I am not a mean person, and I would never, EVER, doxx a woman.

I’ve jumped through every fucking hoop asked of me by anyone in this game and it’s never fucking enough is it? I’ve bent over backwards to be a decent person.

Why am I friends with Sentinel? You’ll have to ask Sentinel. They’re the ones that friended me last night. I put the request in a long time ago. I’m as surprised as you.

[DimStyleParticipant]

I consider myself a “fairly” intelligent person and I have never heard the term “doxxing” before today. I just you do learn something new every day!

[CodyParticipant]

Wow. It’s sad to see someone whom has contributed SO much to this community get such a hard time over trying to do
something so simple.
It’s obvious she made efforts to ensure that nobody’s info was plastered publicly.
This “communlity” never ceases to amaze me.
No harm no foul Megan. Keep up the good work!
BTW sentinel added me last night as well.

[BlondieParticipant]

Wake up Cody, it isn’t a community anymore. It’s a battlefield…

[CodyParticipant]

Sure, just as any part of life is a battle. Battle of wills, battle of words, battle of wits (iocane powder lol), Battle of egos, battle of decency battle of belief.
If you mean to say that because individuals are on opposing sides or even opinions, that they need be ignorant to each other .. well I guess that’s your perspective.
Not one I will support nor play along with myself.

[MichelleParticipant]

Wow. @atticus360 and @coryphella. I am completely taken back by what has happened. I had spent a long time crafting a post about where I stood on everything. I was ready to take a side. But, this has truly thrown me into a tailspin. Was the journal taken from Max with the intention of never returning it? I mean, if so, that is a bit underhanded to say the least. I think it’s fair to say that there is no intention of returning the journal from the FB post. The “OUR” is a pretty bold statement of ownership.

[RustyParticipant]

@atticus360 was supposed to have the journal in his possession and would be given an opportunity to return it… or am I misunderstanding this?
I would also like some clarification, @halfbloodfangirl, if this journal was taken from him to help with clarification and then never returned.

[MelissaModerator]

@atticus360 is seems like a backhanded move but here’s my take:

– @electrichippo said BoS knew what you were going to get (Addison’s journal) before it was even handed over by @regent7.

-there’s a lot of missing pages

-Seeing that Rizzo had to comply with BoS despite an in-faith exchange (and in-faith acknowledgement on forum) is an obvious indicator that BoS really wanted that journal.

-BoS members say they are all for sharing.

So, maybe BoS will be producing the journal in its entirety for all of us to see, in the name of complete and total transparency.

Otherwise if they’re just keeping it for the sake of keeping items or using it for their own benefit at risk of breaking trust, then they’re just dicks. Time will tell.

[BlondieParticipant]

Max had the diary in his possession for how long? And we all had to fight to get what ended up being pretty much unreadable pictures of the pages.

As soon as the book ended up in our hands, you were immediately provided with high-quality, usable images of the entire diary and therefore something substantial to analyse.

Can someone explain to me exactly how this makes us the bad guys? Please. I am mystified…

[RustyParticipant]

Was the journal supposed to be returned to @atticus360… and is that not happening?

• This reply was modified 7 years, 8 months ago by  Rusty.

[TheBuzParticipant]

According to @atticus360 post history… that is indeed the case.

[MichelleParticipant]

It’s my impression by @atticus360 post that the journal will not be returned to him. Which yes, @mkarrett, it is a dick move. I am under the impression just like @reaton that the journal was ONLY taken to create high res scans. That is the way it was presented here and, I believe, to Max. I’m sure if there was any hint that he couldn’t trust Mike, he would have never handed the journal over.

[Michael RizzoParticipant]

Max and I spoke about the journal and that I could help him with scanning the pages. The intention was NEVER to keep the journal. I did not use any OOG connection to max so I can steal the journal. After I got the journal and posted the pictures, it was now IG. Tension saw it, the OOA saw it, Sentinel saw it. We were given official instructions following the release of the “BOS cleaned up version”, which is unfortunately all I can say if the matter.

[BlondieParticipant]

Everyone, EVERYONE, knows we have it. Have we been approached by a representative of the OOA or Addison or anyone else requesting its return? Not as far as I am aware. So it’s obviously not that effing important now is it?

[Anonymous]

Wow. Just wow.
How long have you been around @blondiecamps? Five WHOLE minutes? Ten?
Battleground or no, there is no goddamn need to bring my character into question.
Take my goddamn paintings off your fucking blog.

Obviously not EVERYONE knew you had it. If they had known, there wouldn’t be this much surprise here. Get over your bad selves. Admit you pulled a fast one on Max. Stop trying to deflect blame elsewhere and move forward.

I’m out. There ARE more important things to me than Addison and the OOA.

[BlondieParticipant]

With pleasure Megan. Maybe when I’ve been around in Tension for as long as you have, I’ll have developed the energy and means to pull rank and be rude and overreact to the same extent.

[Sean (@TheGilded)Moderator]

This has gone on long enough. I don’t care enough about either side of this conflict to speak on it as TheGilded but I do care enough about what this topic has done to the forums as Sentry and Moderator.

We’ve gone way off topic and emotions are running far too high for this thread. In your bickering, we’ve essentially ignored a major plot point and devolved into personal attacks and offense taken. We are no longer getting anywhere.

This is the warning before a topic closure: If you feel you have been wronged, are offended, or want to fight, do so in private messages or off site. We’ve had enough bickering here and I will not allow more to continue.

[RustyParticipant]

Thank you @thegilded, I, for one, appreciate your comments.
The fact that the journal was made available to someone and that clean copies of those pages did eventually get posted benefitted this entire community. I don’t care which “side” you are on. The clarification of the pages was NEEDED. It happened.

There ARE bigger things developing, clearly.

[Andrew KaschParticipant]

I’m starting to think 4 was right…

[Addison BornParticipant]

…that everyone needed to be purged? That the OOA is corrupt? That @mike really IS the best boy?

[Andrew KaschParticipant]

All of the above. 😉

[ReidVParticipant]

Look. I dont give a fuck about the journal. What I care about are my friends and the growth of Tension… I came here to enjoy that, didnt you?

What really hurts me is seeing people who are normally so lively and beautiful resort to lying, cynicism, and arguments.

I’d like to think we are all above that sort of behavior, so I’m letting this issue go. Please think about who your friends are and what you want Tension to really be.

[Andrew KaschParticipant]

“What really hurts me is seeing people who are normally so lively and beautiful resort to lying, cynicism, and arguments.”

Don’t forget gossip. Lots and lots and lots of backdoor gossip.

[Author]

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