What I learned near the start of all of this is I make a really shitty cult member. Real or pretend, I just couldn’t do it. I suppose I’m disobedient and untrusting by nature. Group think scares the crap out of me. I’d always rather take the road less traveled, which is often the road traveled alone. When BOS came along, it didn’t convince me OOA was bad news, it merely gave me an outlet to pursue what I already believed. I was a born detractor. It would have become apparent with or without BOS.
As I got to know BOS’s various Sentinels over many many months, there were numerous times they’d go silent on me for extended periods. The first time this happened I left Sentinel a message with the following sentiment: Sentinel, I hope you return to me but if you don’t I will carry on. I don’t need a home office to instruct me. I know right versus wrong. I value individual freedom, human dignity, and truth. I will continue to look for that opportunity where I might make a difference, and perhaps save a life. Ironically, the last time Sentinel went silent, a door did open and @masterlock asked me to stand by her side. What better way to find out what’s going on inside and keep an eye on her and everyone else? I really couldn’t say no. I knew singlehandedly taking down The OOA was a severe long shot, but this seemed my only chance to make even a small difference.
To have Michelle come along and tell us BOS was never real was no shocker, and it mattered very little to me because as I said to “Sentinel” I know right versus wrong, I will carry on. Michelle wasn’t a savior or bringer of grand truth that Saturday at the OOA parking lot, she also wasn’t someone that came across as trustworthy. Frankly, she was a bitch with a shitty attitude and her rational for doing what she did wasn’t adding up for any of us. I might have been tricked by “Sentinel” but I was not about to become Michelle’s pawn. Her only instruction to us that day was to record everything. I didn’t do that thinking it was going to be some grand play that caused a difference. I did it because I wanted our friends at home to be there with us through video and pictures. I also wanted to document for myself whatever it was I was about to see and have a memoir of those inside the compound that I felt we might not ever meet again. I feel all of our hands were tied that last day, regardless of allegiance. We didn’t have enough information to know how or what to fight, but we do know if we’d interfered that Sunday the definite result would be immediate expulsion from the compound.
Now, OSDM is presenting Lust. We will quite likely see Michelle again, meet Jack, and hear from those mysterious Clockmakers. If we’re lucky we might even get a cameo or two from Light2Dark. I do look forward to it all, but once again my eyes will be wide open and my independent spirit intact. OSDM has some more explaining to do. We’ve seen too much. We won’t forget the family and friends we have lost. We… ALL of us.
