[prufrock5150Participant]

I never figured out the hangman puzzle in the classroom… it was like one of those moments where you think “I should really be able to do this right now, but I have jello in my head.” Does anyone remember what it said?

[prufrock5150Participant]

Well, it looks like that time has come, eh? Time to bare it all and just share our entire experiences? I’ll try to stay on topic, and I guess we might want to still honor the “spoiler” tradition for those sorting among the ashes, trying to concoct some sense of linearity of it all, and who do not wish to receive their information out of order (sic). Of course, the amount of time (space, rather) that it took to write that is almost certainly equivalent to having written “*SPOILER*” a bunch of times, so I guess I can just continue in the next block-paragraph…

I’ve been trying to figure it all out, how my experience in Ascension and Re-Ascension differed from others, and the degree to which my perspective is unique, and contribute what is necessary. As such, I will only point out here the bizarre and harrowing experience during my Re-Ascension, one of which may have been noticed and just not mentioned by others (or mentioned in a manner that escaped my awareness), and the other of which I have not yet heard mentioned by anyone else, and which I genuinely fear to even mention… but I believe I was told to bear witness.

First, the issue of time: Do you all remember the recruitment video playing in the corner (I’d say which, but I can barely even reckon my cardinal directions outside buildings, much less *that* one) of the Processing Room? It looks old, right? Like maybe a reel-to-reel you might be shown in 7th-grade Science class, if you happened to be raised in a town run by an occult organization (I mean, like more than every town is…)? Well, I didn’t get a chance to see it the first time, because they were pushing me through processing pretty hard before having me interview my own wife of 15 years and asking her to touch herself in front of me, telling her to pretend I was her father (they *do* know us, don’t they?), and then having me ask her to tell me what she’d say to me if I was laying dead on the table (protip: I don’t *actually* think she’d kill herself after my death, but it’s still hard to hear), and then having Samson blast through the door as she was about to duct-tape my scraggly face-hair all sorts of askance and separating us until the clock room, when they did a fantastic job of having us face our inevitable mortality. But I digress… that video *did* have a date, and being one of those obsessives who reads everything, I noticed it read © MCMLXXIII (I think – the numbers after the decade may be off by one or two, but that first part is definitely it). This would be the 1970s (1973, to be exact, if my memory serves). This seemed about fitting for the style, and the fact that the logo had that weird double-coffin-looking thing around the slightly different symbol, which was the one introduced during the early days when GK V was running the show… until I saw Addison. She was speaking to the camera, explaining some aspect of the Order, and wearing a creme-colored dress, and she looked basically exactly like the Addison/Sabrina/Overseer that we’ve known throughout our recent time. I suppose I should say I don’t really know that it *was* her – I mean, she didn’t say “Hi, I’m Addison – so you’ve decided to join the OOA?” or anything, but it was so obviously her likeness that I had to pause, sit up, and whisper to my benchmates “This is from 1973… did they clone her?!” I legitimately don’t know what to make of this, and the fact that it appears to have gone unnoticed up to this point gives me pause.

Now, for the absurd part: After Overseer had us select our candidate for Ascension, and we were led to the “Farewell Room,” where they are to record their final message to their loved ones, we spoke with the actor who was playing he who dies that evening, who was called by three distinct names that evening: He introduced himself in the parking lot as Taylor, but then someone called him Tylor, and then he called himself Nick. Either way, it was not by his name that I knew he was “the plant…” it was because he asked me if I remembered him. He explained that he was the one from the changing room during my first Ascension. I suddenly recalled his eyes, and his dour expression as he had me repeat the following phrase: “Ego is the distraction.” Nothing is random, indeed. Here I was, now reminding him of the same, as he explained that he could not further stomach the abuses of the secret activities behind the scenes, and he was “just done… out.” Apparently, this seemed to be an exit strategy for him, but before I could press him for details, the door opened, and a massive shadow wearing a white mask with the OOA logo burst into the room, waving his hands and intoning “Spooky, spooky, spooky, boo-boo-boo!” before ripping off the mask and chuckling kindly. “Have you figured it out yet? Do you know what’s going on here?” His teeth flashed from a gentle fourth-wall reassurance to a slanted threat in an instant. “You come back because you want to know how it works, huh? Well, there are some things you have to accept.” He reached slowly up toward his left eye. “A lot of people get confused in this experience. You see, you might have a skewed perspective…” He continued nonchalantly digging with his index finger and pulling open his ocular cavity. “…There are things you’re not really supposed to know…” He plucked out the eyeball and set it on the blank paper he was holding, and his mouth became a wild grimace of raw energy: “And maybe you need to BACK THE FUCK OFF!” I cannot convey the impact of this yell. I felt myself jump, and my mouth go agape, and he regained his composure before putting his eye back in. It was indistinguishable as fake. “So, you should just stop asking questions, and, you know… see things right.” He left the room and shut the door. Before any of us could identify him or even begin to make sense of it outside of the dread that built up from this interaction, Miles led in the candidate and Nick took his place in the corner of the room.

Should I even be saying this, though? Was this a warning I was meant to share with others? I remember being told to “bear witness,” but I don’t remember by exactly whom, or when. Hell, for that matter I have trouble trying to place a lot of what happened into linear order, and I’ve been talking to others who have the same trouble… I remember Samson saying something to me, but I couldn’t tell you for the life of me what he said…

I do remember, though, as Nick/Tyler/Taylor was led into his throne of Ascension (which I can only hope was a successful escape for him), he pointed at us – directly – and mouthed the words “They’re using you…” several times until they threw the cloak over his head.

So, here I am, yet again ready to enter into the arms of uncertainty that represent this experience, and I suppose my only comfort is in knowing that the words live on in the eyes of you who read this, whatever may happen…

Glory

Be

[prufrock5150Participant]

Have you ever been forced to eat the eyeball of a fish?

Surely, this would constitute some form of cruel and quite unusual punishment, culinary merits aside. Allow for a moment this allegory, and bear (or cat) with it:

There once was a woman whose cruise ship capsized, and she barely escaped with her life by fleeing upon a raft. Alone and adrift, she slowly endured the experience of facing a most lackadaisical demise through the unceremonious method of starvation. Having used up all her rations, she was left to survive by the few fish she could capture. She began by eating the flesh, and tossing aside the offal, bone, and head into the crevices of her floating home.

Soon, however, she found that this was not enough to sate her. She began to find the flesh unsatisfying, even distasteful at times. An odd urge came over her, as she found herself drawn toward the storehouse of her most recent catch, and she gave into the inexplicable compulsion to pluck out the eyeball of her gilled quarry and pop in into her mouth.

It was delicious.

When they found her, she was not who she began as when she set out upon her cruise. But after time, and perhaps some therapeutic conversation with friends, family, and one would only imagine a licensed professional, she came back into the world, forever changed, and had only one question unanswered: why, of all that she had done to sustain her threatened survival, had she turned toward the consumption of the eyeballs?

It would be a doctor who gave her the solution to this puzzle: there are certain nutrients and unsaturated fatty acids in the eyeballs of fish that cannot be found throughout its body. Stripped of acculturation by custom and social convention, she was reduced to the feral state of instinct – some part of her just *knew* that this gelatinous orb held the key to her survival, and her sense of taste adjusted itself to meet the needs of this deeply encoded urge. She overcame herself, and because of it, she was allowed to continue her experience.

Now, you may wonder at the applicability of this bizarre tale to our situation here, as the logical thread of comparison tends toward the burden of blame: who, indeed, forced her into that situation?

She bought the ticket. She went on the cruise. She chose the unsavory fate which befell her.

What we cannot presently answer is whether or not it is the same part of her which developed a penchant for eating fish eyeballs that led her to buy the ticket.

Surely, though, we can all agree that there is no place for revenge in this story.

[prufrock5150Participant]

http://imgur.com/Fh0YVfw

[prufrock5150Participant]

It is a time of pith (and, for some, vinegar). But brevity is the soul of wit, it is often said, so perhaps the question asked has a simple answer: You do not do Ascension. Ascension does you.

The Overseer is the Overseer because it sees over, not oversees. I hear the view is fucking great.

Glory Be

[prufrock5150Participant]

Can anyone shop out the redaction of the top two lines? It looks like it’s dated September 9, 2016, and it says something like “Who is the OOA?” – but there’s a website beneath the bottom one I can’t make out. If anyone wants the original file for forensic analysis, please email me at prufrock5150@yahoo.com and I’ll send over the attachment.

[prufrock5150Participant]

Please count me as one who will be there.

[prufrock5150Participant]

Well, the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum theory would strongly suggest that it is at least uncertain, if not completely malleable to some degree…

[prufrock5150Participant]

@electrichippo – fair point; there is an interesting paradox in his deciding who would receive the pages, then inquiring as to why BOS was not participating. However, the framework through which the journal is being presented as a mere document to digest and dissect for clues and leads is problematic – this is a young woman’s life and journey toward enlightenment, after all. Are we perhaps disrespecting the journey by only looking at the destination?

[prufrock5150Participant]

Not to drudge up old, becalmed waters, but a question seems to be looming from just beyond the distant horizon of our past: How, exactly, is this situation different from when @daela was given an envelope, and chose to retain its possession until the appropriate time? We all recall the haranguing and impassioned arguments to release the information and quell our wild yearning to know “the truth” – and equally recall that in the end, it was @daela‘s decision to make?

Ultimately, I have to argue in favor of @atticus360‘s sovereignty, because none of us – not a one – knows what occurred during that meeting between him and @regent7 except him and @regent7.

This is, as is everything, about trust. And if you don’t trust @atticus360, that’s fine – but then you also mustn’t trust those who claim to know better. What has happened is not apparent, perhaps – but then neither is how we should interpret it or the correct course of action that should be taken.

It does make some things clear, however: from the stated position of BOS, this diary is just data – a storehouse of diagesis to fill in the missing narrative. In that respect, we must question what, then, is the point of knowing if we’re just trying to get to the end? What do we hope to find here? What morsel of knowledge do we think will congeal into our philosopher’s stone and light our paths? If anything has been consistently communicated, it is that enlightenment comes from within… even, and especially, when you are forced to go without.

Perhaps if we turned our critical analysis toward looking at the message that 2 is sending us through her former self, as envisioned and re(en)acted by our dear fellow participants, trained our questions on interpreting meaning instead of questioning authority and allegiance – well, just perhaps…

[prufrock5150Participant]

The woman who stood and decried the OOA as “frauds” happened to be sitting right next to me. Her question was introduced as having been submitted by one Macy Hoffman (perhaps spelled “Macie” because of the misreading as “Marcie,” which Jonathan was roundly disabused as having the gumption to correct Atticus on). Speaking to her briefly before the event as we were negotiating seating, she seemed sort of put-off and nervous, and now I understand why: her brother, she loudly exclaimed, was involved with the OOA “a couple of years back when [they] were in Oklahoma.” This raises even further questions about the wide-reaching influence of our beloved not-a-cult: first, was Macy/Macie Hoffman her real name? What was the fate of her brother? Why can’t he speak on his own behalf? The fact that she ripped off her wristband (which allowed her entrance to Scare LA) and summarily left directly after the event leads me to think that whatever happened in Oklahoma clearly doesn’t seem to be OK…

[prufrock5150Participant]

Thank you! These threads we gather keep revealing entanglements of increasing complexity…

[prufrock5150Participant]

So, just a thought here – have we been falsely superimposing a hierarchy onto a diagram that is intended to merely show connections? Context defines meaning. We bring to this diagram the expectations of an order that may not actually exist, or at least not operate in a way we can imagine. The circle seems to represent a limit of some sort, and it is incontrovertible that Anoch is quite singular, but the linearity with which the names are presented may merely reflect a convention of style more than a series of ascending degrees of importance. Until we know the proper context of this diagram, it seems presumptuous to assume we can properly understand its significance…

[prufrock5150Participant]

If .net is the domain extension, then the site could certainly be “somethingweb.net” and it would make sense. If it were “something.web.net,” though, then there would be no sense-making. The forward-slashes are also just further designations of subdivisions of the site, so you could roll-back the URL by ignoring everything after the domain extension and try to just get a solid hit on the main thing, then site-map/view source for other links or folders within. It does look like “truthconspiracy[??]web.net/OOA/OOA~/[gibberish],” but I’ve only been getting DNS errors on everything I’ve typed into the address bar so far… Why would Gayle not want us to see what’s there, though, and did she or him redact it?

[prufrock5150Participant]

At time of broadcast, it was 7:40 am in Germany (depending on where; I’m not sure if they have more than one time-zone).

[Author]

Posts